Enjoy the times you get sidetracked in life, it’s often here you’ll find things you never knew you needed that are always more precious than what you ever wanted most.
On paper people sound like they’re good people,
Shame the reality rarely reflects this.
When did we become so selfish?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a terrible person at heart,
At least I admit it.
Maybe it’s just the paranoia kicking in again, yet it feels like something terrible is coming.
Like the ripples in the cup of water in Jurassic Park as the T-Rex approaches unseen in the distance, I feel as if I’m about to be surrounded and backed into a corner with only one route out.
Feelings like this are really pleasant, they gnaw away at you.
Every shadow looks like it’s moving closer and closer, walls seem tighter almost as if they’re sat on your shoulder, and then there is the subtle chill at the back of your neck because it could be nothing more than a gentle breeze or the cold breath of the beast about to sink its teeth in deep.
Call it whatever you will, regardless of the guise it goes by it still puts you on edge.
It was a dream of a dream within a dream, buried deep in another dream.
A purple dress
Spiders bursting from my body
Cleansing violet flames burning fiercely underwater
Face of all the ones I’ve loved, used and left in my life
One door I’d never seen before
A true fear revealed
Behind the door, a memory from a long forgotten past, filled with feelings I’d forgotten I could ever feel again and at the heart of them all there she was
Someone I’ve never met yet know like I know myself
Her lips spoke silent words, mouthing each one clearly so that even though there was no sound I could hear them
Words that have since left me, yet still reverberate with a deafening radiance
Dreams are a funny thing, they give us the all the answers we seek, so long as we can grab them before they fade
All those that have come to me of late are saying the same thing in one way or another
Water & a World in Ruins
It’s all so clear what it means, to me, to my selfish life, it’s the way.
It appears that I’ve slipped into a melancholy mindset once again.
Not wanting to do much of anything and generally harbouring a loathing for everything of late. Going around in circles, coming up against the same self inflicted issues, the ‘dreamer’ wants to give it all away, to take wash ones hands of everything entirely and escape.
All of this of course stems from my own view of myself, projected onto the world.
To voice my words, to make them real.
What is it that stops me, that makes me so weak I can hardly speak.
I guess what is really needed is help, yet I won’t ask for it much like the rest of the fractured world. We’d rather suffer just to feel something than face the void of nothing.
How many lives have we lead
Meeting the same souls in different bodies
That lingering familiarity of warmth
Fragmented memories in dreams
Snippets of scenes one before seen
I wonder if we’d already met
What happened last time
Is this time going to be any different
Changing the story of before
How many lives have we lead
What is this year going to bring I do wonder?
The one we’ve all but already forgotten was fairly basic with the occasionally dusting of absolute catastrophe on top.
Will any of that pop it’s head out from the hole of 2019 to take more flesh?
The problem with this world truly is the people in it, especially the entitled ones who feel they’re owed a debt of gratitude for the mediocre life they lead that gave nothing to the greater good.
I really do harbour a growing dislike for the majority of humanity these days, myself included. Sad really, yet that my friends is life.