Leaving

It won’t be long before this place is nothing more than a fleeting thought and it’s fair to say I’m more than ready to see the back of it.

There are plenty who have become to entrenched here that they will never leave and while it has everything you need on a base level of survival, it’s got nothing to help you grow of make you move forwards.

I will bid them all farewell with a smile because I’ve had enough, its time to go.

Truth & Tears

Why do I make people cry so often?

It always seems to me that I get asked the questions that hold answers they never really want to hear, yet me being me I see no reason in holding back the truth of what is, after all, why lie or tell someone what they want to hear when it will do thing to help them move on.

If there is any lesson that has been learnt in these long years it is the one that tells us that people are not ready for the truth, they’re not ready to change because they just don’t want to.

Last night the reposes I got was one of anger, a protective anger due to the fact that I had cut through their bullshit, yet my reply with the trials and tribulation of my failings was now what they expected. From the response I knew they expected me to make an excuse or try to come across as benevolent, imagine their surprise when I confessed my sins and exposed my flaws without hesitation or regret, silence is truly the sign that the ego protecting them is out of ideas.

The words I spoke were not to hurt or cause distress, they were meant to show a path and insight in how to avoid the mistakes they will keep repeating, yet no one ever wants to learn this, ever.

Why are we so scared, scared of accepting our guilts, our shames, our grief, for falling for the lies, for getting clouded in the illusion of what isn’t real, of letting is all go… Letting it flow down the river and away and accepting that we can’t change the things that were, nor can we change the things that we are not.

All the people who fall in to me, they really do not need the truth I share, the ignorance they live in is far more blissful and I wish I could once again go back their because at least that way i wound’t hurt anyone anymore with what is and what will never be.

I suppose that’s the only problem with taking a glimpse at freedom. It changes your perception and you then realise just how flawed you are and how much to learn you still have. Yet I wouldn’t change it, my eyes are half open, one day I will see it all and at that point the real change will being.

Storm

I sat up watching the thunderstorm the other night. It was fascinating to watch a miracle of nature unfold, what was even more impressive was the potential for destruction that came with it.

It’s only master, physics.

 

 

Wow, Subtle.

Reflection is a trait I’ve aimed to acquire of these long years on this earth and I’d say I’m some what successful in they endeavour because I know when to let things go now, more so than I ever did before.

Yesterday while walking I was lost in thought as I often am, then out of the corner or my eye, in a space I’d never normally see there was one person acting odd, their behaviours didn’t match those around them, if it hadn’t been for their acting like a total weirdo I would;t have noticed them.

Ironically once I say who this person was it was clear that they were trying their hardest not to be seen by one person specifically, me.

Safe to say they failed in that.

This got me thinking, why make such a scene, if they’d have kept walking I’d of been none the wiser and continued being quite content i my own world of thought, but no, my attention had to caught. I’m sure this would be denied, however if they had just followed the crowd I wouldn’t have seen them.

Foolish child.

I was thinking last night while training, why do people do what they do, not in the sense of meaning or purpose but why do they perform the gestures, the body language, the movements and actions they think are one thing when in reality they’re the complete opposite. Is this the old theory of ‘if nothing is said the body will talk’ or am I reading in to this too much, such is the curse of a person who has learnt to become a theorist

Either way it doesn’t matter, the thoughts will be just as fleeting, as everything else.

Take some time today and watch for these little scenes that are out of place, I guarantee you’ll witness some fascinating things.

Easy lifeĀ 

The older you get, the less you care about a great many things. Simply because over time it’s clear that worrying solves no problems.

I can see why the goal of my peers from the past was always ‘an easy life’. 

To be left alone to live out each day peacefully, free of idiots and those who just want to cause hassle because their own life is meaningless. 

Jaded hope

The youth of today, so hopeful.

The elderly, so jaded by the realisation of just how much of life is bullshit.

The there are people like me, no longer young but not yet old. Still with glimmers of hope but jaded enough to know which are logical and which aren’t.

The funniest part of it all is the fact that knowing this changes nothing, so that being said, it’s better to live a ‘wasted’ life in the eyes of others if it’s a well lived one when seen in your own.

It’s here.

People have gone soft.

Modern society is more concerned with not offending people than it is with progressing as a culture.

“You can’t say that, I’m offended.”

Who cares if you get offended?

There are more pressing matters then the fact that not acknowledging you as a unicorn offends you.

I heard a grandfather say to his daughter the other day “War is coming.” and her response was typical “Stop the scare mongering Dad, we’ll be fine here, nothing will happen.” the reposes from her little girl though… no older than 11 or 12 showed how the innocence of youth when provided basic knowledge and understanding can cut through a lot of bull shit.

What did she say?

“No grandad, it’s already here.”

Heart breaking and scary that a parent is more naive than a child.

The world is filled with good and bad people, it always has been, it always will be and something else that has echoed through history is that to stop a monster you often end up having to become one yourself, continuing the cycle of hate breeding hate.

When will we ever learn.