Crying Without Tears

Sometimes sitting alone is the worst thing you can do.

Being left alone with your thoughts can be a dangerous thing, especially with a mind as broken as my own. 

Today I suffered not only a disappointment, but worst of all a grave injustice and deprivation to my character.

False truths and sullied stories with no proof or evidence, spiteful hearsay and hurtful slander spouted from times long ago.

Of all the stories that could have been told, this one hurts the most.

I didn’t ask for the memories to be dragged up, nor did I want them to be. Considering the version I’ve just heard makes me sound like an obsessed madman fuelled by jealousy and lust, I can honestly say I want to sit in a corner separated from all that is real and just cry.

Apparently it came from a letter that was sent to certain people. Incredibly descriptive in it’s nature, it served to be a noose that will now forever haunt me.

How could such things have been said when they were simply not true?

Did I get it all so wrong?

Was I that naive… That foolish… That in love that I couldn’t see what was really going on?

I believed all the lies and cries for help. 

I tried again and again to help but never made the slightest bit of difference, sadly now I know why. 

People are vindictive, cruel and ruled by their ego. 

Being selfless has no place in this world. It will only lead to a place of solitude and ridicule.

I’ve not felt a hurt this immense before. To feel truly worthless is something I wouldn’t wish upon my greatest enemy, so why would they wish it on me…

Funny thing is I can’t even cry. There are no tears, only pain and sadness.

Worst of all this very post will cause only more hurt.

Perhaps I am destined to walk the path alone. Crying without tears.

Perhaps ‘they’ were right all along.

What a fool I am. 

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The Tears if Frustration

Tears of frustration… How many have you shed?

Hundreds?
Thousands?

Or perhaps a number close the the infinite.

These are the tears that often mean the most. They hold the memories of beautiful rage, the memories of love, hate and everything in-between.

Never be ashamed, they mean you cared, they mean you learnt, they mean you’re human.

We have all cried these tears… these tears of frustration.

I Hate the way…

I hate the way you’ve made me feel

I hate the way you lied

I hate the way you drew me in when you looked deep into my eyes

I hate the way you made me smile and brought happiness to life

I hate the way I opened up for you to pass me by

I hate you made me laugh and think that you were mine

Now all I do is hate all the time

To hold you close and not let go used to be my dream

dreams haunt us all and we ask why

There’s nothing left for me to say except for goodbye

No hopeful words or wandering thoughts

All that’s left is pain

No Love no feelings no more to say

Just what you left to die

I hope your happy with your life so mine can carry on

But I won’t forget that once in time I thought you were the one