All of your miracles
All of your blessed gifts
They will all disappear
The visage fades and cracks
The body becomes soft and worn
The eyes dull and lifeless
It all disappears as time marches on
In the end we are left with only but one thing
Who we are
Good for some
This is not true for you or I
Our life of sin and fraud will catch us in the end
All that will be left is our bitter distaste for the world and the feeling of loss due to our own deceptive ways
I accepted this fate, have you?
What has this place become?
I believe a diary or journal is the best way to describe it. Each day it changes from thoughts and feelings to poems, plays and random musings but aiming to write at least 400 words a day has certainly made it more interesting, however the temptation to overthink and try to create something to please the readers is ever more present.
Why would I try to please the people that read this blog when that was never it’s original intention?
Well the answer to that is a simple one… Acceptance and understanding.
Millions of people write blogs everyday, many far more articulate than this one and with far better content, but they don’t do it for the reasons you might believe. Oh no, they will do it because they want to fill that void of emptiness they house deep down and find people who accept them and lavish them with praise; or perhaps that’s just me.
Something people forget is that we judge based on our own image of ourself, we also criticise based on our own ego and it’s need to be protected. All people every really want is to feel needed, there are no exceptions to this rule and there is no such thing as a truly selfless act because it will always be carried out with the reward in mind.
Not all rewards are physical, some of the biggest ones are mental or emotional.
Cynical as it might sounds it’s the truth, not my truth as some people will jump to proclaim, it’s the honest truth from someone who can admit their need for acceptance and their avarice for all things attention related. I write this not for glorious responses, nor do I write it for pity; I write this because I want to and just like every other human in the world I want what I want and nothing will change that fact.
To admit ones greed is to admit ones flaws and subjugation to their ego, thus accepting them in all their wonderful disarray. When you have seen the truth it all makes so much sense.
Greed is the essence of everything.
I find this life truly amusing.
What should matter doesn’t, what shouldn’t matter does and everyone who is meant to be your friend actually turns out to be just like the rest.
Perhaps I am just bitter, or maybe I am just one of few who accept the world for what it is… Remorseless.
By her own admission she was pleased things stayed civil between us, but now she isn’t getting her own way she has become that petty insolent child that so many told me she was. It is a sad thought because I always defended her as I felt perhaps she was the victim, perhaps people really did need to give her a break. But apparently that is not the case.
I feel so disappointed in people.
Those who know me should understand that the more I am forced in a certain direction that is not of my choosing the more resilient I become.
I can see falling rubble hurtling towards me, soon to smash the walls of my comfort and shake the foundations of my peace, but, I have nothing to loose because I learnt a long time ago that if something material is lost it can be regained.
Pride is my deadliest sin. It keeps me safe but at the same time it also keeps me alone.
As the sun sets the night draw in,
Leaving lost souls without guiding light,
They fight with temptation and sin.
Stars light up the pitch black night,
They give a path for those lost souls,
Guiding them back towards the light.