I want to be the man you think I am.
I don’t know why it is that I find ultra positive people so irritating.
You know the kind, everything is sunshine and rainbows, everyone is working to be the best they can be, ugh, so arbitrary, a classic maxim of mediocrity.
Dear god, why so bitter, every thing seen through these eyes in a negative shade and as much s I’d like to say it’s because of worldly experience and a hefty dose of realism, I think that truth be told I’m just a grumpy person.
Jaded by it all.
It’s for that exact reason anti-heroes, villains and others of a darker ilk have always been more appealing to me After all, who wants to play the good guy when the former is so much more fun.
If I was to die
Then look back at my life
I’d see it’s filled with more truth than lies,
There were times of strife
All of which came to an end
In the end it was me alone, no home, no family, no wife,
So much damage I’ve done never to mend
One day I hope they’d forgive me
Such is the failings of a mind that was never made to bend,
One day I hope they’ll see
It wasn’t all for naught
I tried the best I could in every failing and every glee,
For there was love in every lesson I taught
And always you in my every single thought.
Reflection is a trait I’ve aimed to acquire of these long years on this earth and I’d say I’m some what successful in they endeavour because I know when to let things go now, more so than I ever did before.
Yesterday while walking I was lost in thought as I often am, then out of the corner or my eye, in a space I’d never normally see there was one person acting odd, their behaviours didn’t match those around them, if it hadn’t been for their acting like a total weirdo I would;t have noticed them.
Ironically once I say who this person was it was clear that they were trying their hardest not to be seen by one person specifically, me.
Safe to say they failed in that.
This got me thinking, why make such a scene, if they’d have kept walking I’d of been none the wiser and continued being quite content i my own world of thought, but no, my attention had to caught. I’m sure this would be denied, however if they had just followed the crowd I wouldn’t have seen them.
I was thinking last night while training, why do people do what they do, not in the sense of meaning or purpose but why do they perform the gestures, the body language, the movements and actions they think are one thing when in reality they’re the complete opposite. Is this the old theory of ‘if nothing is said the body will talk’ or am I reading in to this too much, such is the curse of a person who has learnt to become a theorist
Either way it doesn’t matter, the thoughts will be just as fleeting, as everything else.
Take some time today and watch for these little scenes that are out of place, I guarantee you’ll witness some fascinating things.