Beautiful and rare as a Blue Rose glistening in the pale moonlight, that’s what you are.
I know it all too well
Here we go again.
A whirlwind of thoughts
Again, again, again they come
They won’t stop
Over and over the same repeated, failed, cursed and wilfully chosen
“I still came, even though I’m about to break…”
You know something, pickles fascinate me. No idea why, they just do.
Existence, it just is.
It seems strange to think that I’ve been sharing random rubbish on here for a few years now.
This place was born out of pain and desperation.
I needed to get ti all out, to let it go, draw it all back in only to discard it once again. All in an attempt to understand that which I already knew. Did you know that most of the answers we seek are ones that we already have, we’re just not really willing to accept them because they often wound us more than we’d ever tell anyone.
In this truth it is clear to me just how much trouble I cause, not to mention that one day it will all come to a head. If I was to stand in front of Anubis and have my heart placed on the scales my entrance would be denied.
So many sordid deeds.
So much suffering because of me, because of my choices, and yet knowing all f this does nothing to disturb the miracle of the peace I have found. Truly a deal with the devil I made in a time I’ve long forgotten, yet I’m sure he will collect the fee one day.
On that day I will lay in ruin.
Stripped of everything, naked, exposed for all to see and even with this glaring truth I will still be at peace because all we can do is accept the rewards of that which we had sown, all those years ago.
In this knowledge I offer you what I have left.
The curse of knowing.
Do you want it because I will happily give it to you, perhaps you will use it better than I did.
Being sat under a tree to hide from the rain is something I’ve not done in a long time.
It beings back some rather vivid memories it has to be said.
Those ones in particular were akin to that of a movie scene, not the sort of thing to happen to the likes of me, I guess that’s why everything went the way it did. The movie wasn’t meant to be anything other than what it was, a tragedy.
I do enjoy reminiscing, it helps one understand the inner workings of the world that no one else sees but you and shows us just who we really are. The hard part from that is just accepting it.
So much distraction, so much to do, so much to reach for, it’s a worthy cause for my attention and also the reason that I will be content in just being.
There is only place for one in this world, where I have created and destroyed so much.
It’s a fitting place for me and I’m okay with that.
Are you okay with yours?