The World of ‘One Up’

Notre Dame burns down and people are already butt hurt and saying that it’s nothing compared to a rainforest.

Then we will have people saying the rainforest fires are nothing compared to something else.

Then that something else will be nothing compared to another thing.

Thus the cycle of “my tragedy is worse than yours’ will continue.

Fucking hell people, has life really become so steeped in oneupmanship that there is not even a moment to feel for anything these days?

I really do lose faith in humanity more as each days goes past.

Sunday & Sultry

Sitting in a coffee shop people watching and pondering the world.

What else do people do on a Sunday?

Funny how we are all much of a muchness, none here are really eye catching, perhaps that is why I enjoy this place, it is somewhere I can blend in to the background, peacefully, without angst, worry or irrational thought.

I can just be.

As the times passes I make eye smile at those who walk past, each of them don’t know where to look, so down is the common choice, out of everyone so far the only one to smile back was a young child in a push chair. It’s quite tragic how we lose our sense of wonder and awe as we age. In the end we’d rather keep to ourselves than reach out and engage with other.

Perhaps that’s why I like this place, not only for blending in to the background but also for being able to throw out a random smile just for the sake of seeing who is comfortable enough in themselves to smile back, which apart from the young and innocent is no one.

Occasionally people do stand out.

Those rare individuals that have colour in their cheeks, passion in their eyes and fire embedded deep in the heart, however those are few and far between.

Most wear monochromatic blues, greys and very often black, because black is sliming, apparently.

What ever happened to standing out?

Ah well, time to get up and move to a different coffee shop because what else do people do on a Sunday.



They say everyone has a twin. A doppelgänger.

Today I saw a woman much like someone I used to be very close to. Her face was the same, her smile, her eyes, even the way she laughed, everything…

While this is not the twin of who many would think it would be it was the one after. The one who I felt was a guiding light. Someone who seemed to understand, someone who I thought was on the same level but that was just wishful thinking. She was a good person, it seemed that a future for us was just not written in the stars.

As I sit and glance over at this reflection of her the only real difference is the colour of her hair. I wonder if that is the only difference? Maybe she has the same traits, the same loves, same hopes, same dreams, oh how I wonder. It would be easy to simply walk over and stake up a conversation, that is if I wasn’t trapped in my own head.

I wonder what other twins of people I will see in my life.

Stupid People

Apparently intelligence is a gift. I disagree, I think it’s a curse.

However, when I say intelligence I don’t mean in terms of book smarts I mean intelligence in the realms of foresight of common sense.

People really are idiots. I’ve just had a chat with someone who is ‘here to help me’ and she was just as useless as everyone else, no one seems to care because it’s just an inconvenience to them.

I’ve had enough of stupid people.

It Closed.

I find myself in the midst by suffocating people, the drain the life from all that surrounds them.

My patience wears thin, avoidance is the easiest course of action. After all, you can’t argue with idiots because they simply drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

The world used to be filled with colour, now all I see is a dull grey, shrouded in the mist of depressive tendencies. How dreary I do sound. My recent state of mind has been echoed in this blog fro quite some time now, what was once filled with raw emotion and perspective is now nothing more than a black whole that devours all the light around it.

I’m sorry, but I’m not apologising to you. Oh no, my apology is a selfish one. I’m sorry for me, for letting this take over, for not having the strength I needed to do what had to be done.

What a mess.

I loath this world so much now. It has nothing to offer me except bitter disappointment and reality, I think I preferred it when I couldn’t see it for what it was, to see people for who they really were… I would much rather live in the ignorance just like everyone else but that door is forever closed to me. My eyes have been opened and I hate what I can now see.

We are being overcome by the chaos, it’s tipping the balance.

There is so much we refuse to accept, so  much suffering that we care little for because it doesn’t effect us. We only care when it suits us or makes us look good, we are such hypocrites. I am such a hypocrite. I hate myself, the self pity disgusts me but it’s all I’ve grown to know recently. Oh my friends, I wish you knew how I understand you so well, but I just don’t care for your problems, but then again you wouldn’t want the truth from me anyway.

The truth… No one wants it, but it’s always there.

What is my truth?

I am everything that’s wrong with the world, but at least I can admit it.