“Just like that the weight of a thousand ages had been lifted from my shoulders”
Countless thoughts, feelings, memories and stories have been written in the blog and after the revelations of the last few days my pain has finally gone…
Thinking back to the times I tried to help and failed, thinking back through all the pain I suffered without hesitation for her, I finally knew there was nothing more I could do. My last act was carried out only a couple of days ago and yet it feels like so much longer.
I was told by “Kain” that he and his son were trying desperately to pull “April” out of a destructive situation, Knowing that they are doing all they can was comforting yet sad.
Why was it sad? Because who I once knew was truly lost and there was no chance of her ever returning.
The person that was now left in her place I wished not ill towards, but with all my heart I prayed for her safety and happiness with hope one day she has a chance to find love. I thought I could have given her all of this but that was written in the stars for us. I hope that one day she might be free of her own darkness that surrounds her.
Finally letting go of the memory of the girl I had held onto for so long was hard, to let go of everything, the hope, dreams, feelings and memories is not something you can plan it just happens when you’re ready, I shed no tears and felt no pain, there was nothing else left for me to do but continue my life.
I am sure I will have times where something will trigger a vagrant memory; it’s only human to remember someone who you loved with all of your heart.
Strange really, my eyes have been opened as has my heart.
It’s time to live, and who knows maybe one day I will meet someone worth letting in again and when I do I will not be afraid of getting hurt because if I have another chance to be as happy as I felt with her it will be worth the risk.
“She would always have been enough, always”