Subtle Smiles & Hungry Eyes

“Order up”

Bellows the manager.

With a thunderous slam the tray is placed down, the coffee nearly spilt and the customer ushered away.

“Next please…”

The barista mutters with a sultry tone.

She looks so depressed. I can feel myself being drawn in by it and no amount of friendly smiles from any customer seems to change the look on her face, she refused to make any form of eye contact. I guess the wind must have changed at the wrong time.

Through all of the noise, rushing people and rowdy children I spot the pair who have been sent out into the war zone to clear the tables.

They both rush in different directions to make space as fast at they can, all while the beady eyes of unimpressed seniors glare at them. The way they move is so hypnotic, it is as if they are dancing with the cups and trays in hand, around and around they go, missing everything and everyone; it was then I saw it….

As they brush past one another their eyes meet for but a mere moment, the pressure that emanated from them was overwhelming. Their smiles were subtle but as I looked deeper I could see their eyes were filled with lust, passion and love.

Less than a second passes, their contact is broken and their dances continued.

Though my sight is fixed on the two, my ears catch the manager once again barking orders.

“You’ve got a face like a smacked ass girl! Go and help Kevin wash the dishes”

The miserable girl behind the till suddenly left.

“Kerry! Back behind the till please.”

Kerry, so that was her name. She didn’t look like a Kerry, I thought she was more of a Rachel, but I guess I was wrong.

Kerry scuttles across the floor and through the staff door, she was in such a hurry the trays and cups she carried almost went flying.

The young man still gliding across the shop floor smiles at all of the customers, it’s like he is walking on air after that brief glance at the apple of his eye. Minutes pass and eventually everything is cleared, then he too returns to the till.

I look across to see their playful flirting and it makes me smile.

It’s a much nicer sight than the washed out look of the previous girl. She was so lifeless, so miserable, so pathetic.

“Luke, you can go”

Luke eh… Luke and Kerry, what a nice couple they made.

As he disappears from my sight I feel a dark cloud appear to my left. It was the morbid one herself, with heavy steps and careless awareness she bumps into me.

‘Stupid girl’ I thought.



She lacked the energy and grace of Luke and Kerry, but it was at that exact second she made eye contact with me, what I saw and came to realise will never leave me.

She wasn’t depressed, she was hurt. Their were tears in her eyes and a stare that cried out for help.

‘Why could she be so sad?’

A voice reaches over my shoulder to grab her attention.

“Ok babe, lets go then.”

A tall and slender man passes me and puts his arm around her. She responds by looking up and saying;

“Ok….”
“I love you Luke”

His response, while looking over his shoulder towards the till at Kerry.

“uh huh. Come on.”

Suddenly, it all became painfully clear.

The dance I witnessed between the two I thought was one of passion and love was nothing more than a sordid affair, but worst of all, they did it right in front of her eyes…

I can only imagine how much it hurts to see the one you love loving someone else.

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The Grip of Envy

I find myself in the hands of arguably the deadliest sin… Envy.

Each day I become more jealous of what I am forced to bear witness too; it infuriates me!

While I believe that people deserve what they get for the most part, those lucky few seem to have everything land in their lap and parade their it about like the world owes them a debt of gratitude really anger me.

Those faceless many who copy, steal and replicate what isn’t theirs and achieve praise are no worth of the rewards life gives them.

They are IMITATIONS, carbon copies of the original, but they are accepted not scorned, loved not hated, welcomed not abandoned… why makes them any different?

Do they really deserve it?

Maybe… Maybe Not, but either way it doesn’t matter because they have it.

After much talk of the ‘Paying Their Dues’ it doesn’t take long to track back and find out all of what is claimed is false, yet people still flock to their cause.

The world truly is full of idiots.

I make no apologises for being jaded in the green allure. I wish the world was fair, I wish I could put right what I see is wrong but I can’t.

Then again, just because I feel it is wrong it doesn’t mean it actually is.

When did I become that guy?

When did it all go so wrong…

My Desires

What do I want?

Words escape me. I can’t think of another way to say what I’ve said countless times before.

I want someone to make me feel alive.

To feel my heart skip a beat when she walks in the room, to feel my temperature soar, to experience complete euphoria and dissonance when I hear the subtle mention of her name, to smile uncontrollably when I gaze upon her, I just want to feel that little but more.

I have offered my heart many times before, this is a fact few know or even realise. I see the look of content staring back, but I never see that little bit more.

The words I know people want to hear I struggle to say. Should we not just know?

I contradict myself with every thought and feeling, but, when all is said and done, nothing else matches up to that feeling of unspoken reciprocation, the feeling when you both know that you’re each other’s world.

That’s what I want… That’s all I’ve every wanted.

Someone to care for me as much as I care for them.

Taste

Once you have the taste, you only want more,
Its lust is insatiable,
Once you have the taste, you will rot to the core,
Its lust is all consuming,
Once you have the taste, you will hurt those you adore,
Its lust is destructive,
Once you have the taste, you will feel like never before,
Its lust is beautiful,
Once you have the taste, you will only want more.