Why are you there?

Seeing you in a pace you’d never be
Watching you watching me
Then just before I leave you say something

“Don’t leave. Please don’t run away again.”

With sincerity in your eyes and a somber tone
You looked like you did that day
Even though this was only a dream
That look… It split me in half
Again

Accidental Third Wheel

Sat alone, peaceful and still
A pair sit near, of all the space they have to choose from
Why here?

They giggle
Flirt, fumble and fall over each others words
Not once taking their eyes off each other

I had forgotten this
The subtle moments
I had forgotten it all

I’m invisible to them they are locked in the others embrace
Quietly I can split away
Wishing they find what it is they don’t even know they’re looking for

Because believe it or not, they’ve just found it

Those two, they made me smile
It seems not all love is lost
Those two, they made me smile

2AM

Have you ever completely given your entire being to someone else?

Loved them more than you could ever love yourself?

I have.

It almost destroyed me, yet there is no regret, only that slight sadness in reminiscent memories with the knowledge that now such a thing has been tasted nothing else compares.

The feeling, it was truly something to bask in, to let consume you and relinquish your very soul as the fair for such an experience.

If you’re someone like me then you’ll not easily open to others.

While it for the most part may seem like a lonely place to be you are content with it because of the safety it provides. After a time you’re often presented with a choice to let someone in and you hesitate. Do you know why? I do.

You hesitate because while it may be everything on paper, there is just something missing. Not the essence gained from time, it’s something different, impalpable, incorporeal, ethereal even. What ever it is you know it because you give everything you have to it.

Now this isn’t like the good old first love, lust or any other axiom that people will claim and those that do haven’t crossed that threshold yet, simply as once you do there is never any way you can come back from it.

Ever wonder what people mean what they say “Those who know”, well that’s what they mean, in what ever the context of it’s use. You can’t explain to those who don’t know, nor can you converse with those that do, all there is to behold is that sense that ‘they get it’.

This is of course both relieving and simultaneously frustrating.

The next time you wake up at 2AM, if you know, this will all make sense.

You’ll never be good enough

There are some people in this word that you will never be good enough for

Regardless of the changes you make

Of what you do to please them and gain their affection

You’re just never going to be enough

Yet all the time you chase the idea of who you love

The further away you get from the physical equivalent of it

Waste not your precious time

Because you’ll never be good enough for them

Well,

Until you’re no longer available to them that is

Then watch them come crawling back to you

With love in their eyes

Words of the sweetest tune you’ve ever heard

They’re finally yours to have

Now ask yourself, are they, were they ever really good enough for you?