I came to realise a long time ago that I’m a hard person to be around, even harder to like and near impossible to love.
The reason why?
Being right all the god damn time.
Yet it never feels like it’s me who knows these ‘things’ many just come out of nowhere.
I know, what an egotistical prick to say such a thing, yet despite all hopes that certain t signs won’t go the way they will for people, regardless of the help you offer, the wisdom you share that has been cultivated from speaking to thousands of people far wiser than ones self for over two decades, people still never listen.
They just won’t do what I want, what they need to be doing so that they avoid the calamity that is approaching. It’s infuriating, frustrating, upsetting and tarnishes your faith in peoples ability to listen to reason.
It’s enough to send you mad.
What is it about reality that is so hard to grasp?
Gift, curse, fantasy or self told lie.
Whatever this thing is that seems to loom near me, whispering away about what is and what will be if things play out from the choice, I can say this much for it, annoyingly it has yet to be wrong and that is a scary thing to admit.
Those who know the alluring darkness of despair, once knew the truest and brightest light of hope.
Those who know the loss of anything and everything, once knew that which we all desperately seek, a love that is real.
Those who know, they are now the only ones who’d ever understand me.
If I’ve suddenly stopped talking to you
Asking how you are
How life is going
It’s not because I’m busy, or working, or any other poor excuse like that
There’s nothing more from me
Because of one simple reason
You’re no longer important
There are only so many times unanswered replies will be accepted
After that I’m done with you
Because even if the world is falling apart around me
I still make time for those people who are truly important to me
As of now, you’re not one of them.
I don’t know why it is that I find ultra positive people so irritating.
You know the kind, everything is sunshine and rainbows, everyone is working to be the best they can be, ugh, so arbitrary, a classic maxim of mediocrity.
Dear god, why so bitter, every thing seen through these eyes in a negative shade and as much s I’d like to say it’s because of worldly experience and a hefty dose of realism, I think that truth be told I’m just a grumpy person.
Jaded by it all.
It’s for that exact reason anti-heroes, villains and others of a darker ilk have always been more appealing to me After all, who wants to play the good guy when the former is so much more fun.
How could you deceive me so?
Words many fear,
To be called out for some is worse than death itself,
Being exposed, naked, vulnerable,
Losing everything you have,
Friends, Family, your worth & value to the world
If there is a hell,
This might t just be it.
You claimed to live your life for others. Giving up your dreams, your path for someone else as you were all they had.
A beautiful lie you told yourself so many times that you actually believe it.
The truth though, that is something very different.
You didn’t stay for another, you stayed because you were scared of having nothing, of being nothing. It was easier to claim self sacrifice for another happiness then to face your own fragility.
This is why you hold on, spinning a web of lies as you steal time with your sins all while wearing a mask of altruism. It is this denial, this lie that causes the pain you can’t seem to run from.
To use others as the excuse for your lack of meaning, or the reason why you sacrificed your true purpose is nothing short of cowardice.
Worry not though, it doesn’t make you anything other than perfectly human.