Patchwork Heart

What started off as whole you give away in pieces

In the hope for some of theirs in return

Each time, nothing was your reward

You sought to patch the holes

With anything, everything that made it feel that little bit better

Now behold the patchwork heart

No longer whole, yet not entirely ruined

Small pieces remain

With so little left, give them out wisely

And always keep one piece for yourself

Keep it at the centre of the patchwork tapestry

Just to remember that once upon a time

You did have a heart, pure & whole

One upon a time.

That’s a big wall

When you see walls that touch the sky

Made from a material tougher than dragon scales

A fortress nigh impenetrable that stands before you

Know this

The heart that is protects is of the most sensitive & pure

Fragile enough to break at the slightest breeze of a distrustful wind

That is why it’s protected so

Hidden away from the world, safe behind its walls

No trick, elaborate ruse or beautiful lie will get you in

Too many have done that before, you didn’t think the walls started that high did you?

Know this

Proof you will need

Not meaningless tokens, gifts or meed

Proof of strength to protect what lies beyond these walls

Because once you get past them, come crashing down they will

To you that heart will belong

That is why you must to be strong

When you see walls that touch the sky

It’s Finally Gone

“Just like that the weight of a thousand ages had been lifted from my shoulders”

Countless thoughts, feelings, memories and stories have been written in the blog and after the revelations of the last few days my pain has finally gone…

Thinking back to the times I tried to help and failed, thinking back through all the pain I suffered without hesitation for her, I finally knew there was nothing more I could do. My last act was carried out only a couple of days ago and yet it feels like so much longer.

I was told by “Kain” that he and his son were trying desperately to pull “April” out of a destructive situation, Knowing that they are doing all they can was comforting yet sad.

Why was it sad? Because who I once knew was truly lost and there was no chance of her ever returning.

The person that was now left in her place I wished not ill towards, but with all my heart I prayed for her safety and happiness with  hope one day she has a chance to find love. I thought I could have given her all of this but that was written in the stars for us. I hope that one day she might be free of her own darkness that surrounds her.

Finally letting go of the memory of the girl I had held onto for so long was hard, to let go of everything, the hope, dreams, feelings and memories is not something you can plan it just happens when you’re ready, I shed no tears and felt no pain, there was nothing else left for me to do but continue my life.

I am sure I will have times where something will trigger a vagrant memory; it’s only human to remember someone who you loved with all of your heart.

Strange really, my eyes have been opened as has my heart.

It’s time to live, and who knows maybe one day I will meet someone worth letting in again and when I do I will not be afraid of getting hurt because if I have another chance to be as happy as I felt with her it will be worth the risk.

“She would always have been enough, always”