Everyone is smiling today. The reappearance of the sun seems to have elevated the moods of the many and removed the frowns caused by the rain and overcast skies. It’s good to see people smiling again because it helps us see that not everything in the world is bad, it also shows that a smile can hide a thousand problems and allow you to once again continue living.
This morning my path crossed with a face I’ve not seen in a very long time, but his hatred for me was still as prevalent as it ever was. His pride was so badly damaged by the fictional story he had created in his own head that there was no chance of it ever recovering, at least not from the look he gave me. The funniest part is the only version of the events that played out he cared for were those of his own creation, the truth was of no consequence.
To allow your own mind to make you bitter with events created in your own head is unfortunate, but then again it has little effect on my life so I don’t really care because the less I worry the happier I am. As selfish as it sounds you can only help people so far before you then need to let go of the handle bars and let them ride alone, unsupported, independently and alone. Nothing else springs to mind for a better analogy of life.
What is it I am supposed to feel I do wonder… Guilt, remorse or maybe even fear and desperation?
I am sure that the path my life is currently on is the one I deserve, with just the right amount of elation and despair that is fitting for my choices thus far.
Led under a silver birch that bends with the breeze all I have to do is look down to be reminded of the despair that I live with everyday. There is no cure, no magic pill or potion, there is only acceptance and the option to carry on as normal, or the option to be carved up like a helpless cadaver to remove it. The former sounds far more appealing. That is not to say I have ruled out this option entirely, more so that I have not yet succumb to that level of desperation yet…
The only place we can’t escape is the one we create in our own head.