What has this place become?
I believe a diary or journal is the best way to describe it. Each day it changes from thoughts and feelings to poems, plays and random musings but aiming to write at least 400 words a day has certainly made it more interesting, however the temptation to overthink and try to create something to please the readers is ever more present.
Why would I try to please the people that read this blog when that was never it’s original intention?
Well the answer to that is a simple one… Acceptance and understanding.
Millions of people write blogs everyday, many far more articulate than this one and with far better content, but they don’t do it for the reasons you might believe. Oh no, they will do it because they want to fill that void of emptiness they house deep down and find people who accept them and lavish them with praise; or perhaps that’s just me.
Something people forget is that we judge based on our own image of ourself, we also criticise based on our own ego and it’s need to be protected. All people every really want is to feel needed, there are no exceptions to this rule and there is no such thing as a truly selfless act because it will always be carried out with the reward in mind.
Not all rewards are physical, some of the biggest ones are mental or emotional.
Cynical as it might sounds it’s the truth, not my truth as some people will jump to proclaim, it’s the honest truth from someone who can admit their need for acceptance and their avarice for all things attention related. I write this not for glorious responses, nor do I write it for pity; I write this because I want to and just like every other human in the world I want what I want and nothing will change that fact.
To admit ones greed is to admit ones flaws and subjugation to their ego, thus accepting them in all their wonderful disarray. When you have seen the truth it all makes so much sense.
Greed is the essence of everything.
I find myself in the hands of arguably the deadliest sin… Envy.
Each day I become more jealous of what I am forced to bear witness too; it infuriates me!
While I believe that people deserve what they get for the most part, those lucky few seem to have everything land in their lap and parade their it about like the world owes them a debt of gratitude really anger me.
Those faceless many who copy, steal and replicate what isn’t theirs and achieve praise are no worth of the rewards life gives them.
They are IMITATIONS, carbon copies of the original, but they are accepted not scorned, loved not hated, welcomed not abandoned… why makes them any different?
Do they really deserve it?
Maybe… Maybe Not, but either way it doesn’t matter because they have it.
After much talk of the ‘Paying Their Dues’ it doesn’t take long to track back and find out all of what is claimed is false, yet people still flock to their cause.
The world truly is full of idiots.
I make no apologises for being jaded in the green allure. I wish the world was fair, I wish I could put right what I see is wrong but I can’t.
Then again, just because I feel it is wrong it doesn’t mean it actually is.
When did I become that guy?
When did it all go so wrong…
They grip me… the 7 sins
Each one drive me to win
I lose control from within
They control me… the 7 sins
This is what I am,
The embodiment of Sin.
Money isn’t everything. Said by someone who has money.
Material things don’t matter. Said by those who have not shortage of their desires.
Beauty is skin deep. Said by people who are beautiful.
No matter what they saying, it always comes from people who have no need for that if which they speak, they don’t know what it’s like not to have ‘it’ and I pray they never have to find out.
If the world was to end tomorrow what would be the one regret you admit in those last few futile seconds before total annihilation?
An unspoken love?
Losing connection with someone?
Not taking the chance life gave you?
Or would you be one of those who claim to have no regrets?
As for me… Well that would be an interesting regret, though it was not for money, riches, recognition or even power no one would ever understand the self imposed burden of my averous.
The greedy man,
Like a dog chasing an imaginary tail,
He will never stop, he will take what he can.
What does he seek?
His corruption spreads through the sea of virtue like oil, untold damage he will reap.
That which he cannot have he will try and lock in a cage,
It infuriates him,
He will twist the world out of shape in a jealous rage.
The greedy man,
Smiles at us all,
His nature is hidden, so beware of the greedy man.
We rush without regard,
Charging towards our greed filled desire,
Pursuing the goal no matter how hard,
We jump with both feet straight into the fire.
Our hearts race with passion and lust,
We see what we want and want what we see,
So have it we must,
Whether costly or free.
No price is to high for that which we need,
We make haste to the object fuelled by our greed.