Maybe it’s just the paranoia kicking in again, yet it feels like something terrible is coming.
Like the ripples in the cup of water in Jurassic Park as the T-Rex approaches unseen in the distance, I feel as if I’m about to be surrounded and backed into a corner with only one route out.
Feelings like this are really pleasant, they gnaw away at you.
Every shadow looks like it’s moving closer and closer, walls seem tighter almost as if they’re sat on your shoulder, and then there is the subtle chill at the back of your neck because it could be nothing more than a gentle breeze or the cold breath of the beast about to sink its teeth in deep.
Call it whatever you will, regardless of the guise it goes by it still puts you on edge.
If only they knew the truth
You’d be in danger of dying known as a good person
Lucky for you they don’t
A dream stuck on a loop.
That’s never happened before.
Hundreds of different variations to it all stemming from the same starting point.
People in danger, only some can be saved, many times I tried to find a way to do it all and each time I failed because I just wasn’t strong enough, fast enough, I just wasn’t enough.
All that power and it still the scales couldn’t be tipped.
Then came the epilogue.
Surrounded by rubble and failure.
“This is how it starts, they steal small things of not consequence and soon that’s not enough. Deeper and deeper the fall until catastrophe is the only option left. Thats the reason I couldn’t win, because I was….”
I am no one.
I was born no one and I will die that very same way.
Over the course of my currently short life I have accomplished very little in all truth, small things here and there yet in thegranfd scheme of things they amount to nothing and once my eyes close never to open again and I fade to dust I will be forgotten.
In life I’m just another face in the crowd to many.
To others I was the arbiter of their pain and everything that was evil in their world.
Never was I anything good to anyone, nor did I really desire to be.
Greed was my governing sin, followed closely by pride, lust and wrath.
Regardless it doesn’t matter because in the end I will be nothing more than I currently am, nothing.
Today is an odd day, there is nothing but void in my very essence it seems.
This comes around every so often, not because life is treating me poorly, it’s quite the opposite in fact. I just feel that abyss sat there in the middle of me.
Do you ever feel like this?
“Your dreams are not your own. They are the forgotten cries of souls long since departed from this world. It is time for you to find peace like they once did, forgo embellishing your lingering will. Let go of the pain to which you hold, come now child, embrace the voids sweet release.” – The Heart of Chaos
To see the vast expanse of what you are
Who you are
Why you are
It’s an interesting story because now you know and you can’t tell anyone what you know for if you do it’ll be gone.
I guess there is nothing more to do than sit, wait and see what happens.
Damn, just, damn.
When will it go away, you ask
When will you stop think about it, you ask
When it happens it will just happen, one day you’re thinking and then it doesn’t cross your mind forever more, I replied.
Star of mourning
My fallen consciousness.