What Lay Beneath.

Though I am not the strongest, fastest, smartest, most selfless or benevolent, I am honest to a fault and it causes me no end of troubles.

Honesty have never been the best policy. Who really wants the truth when it’s far easier to believe a convenient lie?

No one.

I was sat listening to a conversation today between two feminists. While both had fiery passion in their voices, the conversation was one of discrimination and prejudice, I fond the irony quite amusing.

It struck me that people want you to believe they’re as pure as freshly laid snow, but they forget that although the snow may portray a perfect image, it is what lies beneath that provides the substance and support of that image. Thus, the image can only be supported for so long before it melts away and we are able to see the truth.

Having an opinion is not wrong, nor is having a different opinion for that of your acquaintances, friends and even family. This is what gives us our individuality, our character, both good and bad. So why do so many try to hide what they are?

Fear is the only answer I can find, but perhaps I can’t see past the history of my life for anything else.

I believe we all live in fear to some form or lesser degree.

The fear of failure
The fear of achievement
The fear of persecution
The fear of loss
The fear of judgement
The fear of letting those in need down
The fear of not being what we pretend to be…

When the world around us is in flames and the black ash covers the ground for miles to see, this is when we will truly know what scares us. Will we fear the raging inferno and the life it will take from us, or do we fear surviving the blaze and having nothing to live for.

Death or Life.

Which will you fear?

A Torn Person


“Forget the consequences and help those in need. Is it your place? Maybe not but why just sit by and watch someone suffer alone when you have a choice to help, the only person who can tell you to stop is the one you are trying to help”

 Watching someone smile can make all of our problems fade away because we begin to share their happiness but what happens when people are in pain? We run.

“Mia” had a happiness that resonated in me and brought pleasant memories back from the depths of my heart. Days passed and her happiness that she initially possessed seemed to fade from the seemingly controlling attitude of “Simon” became more apparent and the worst thing was her feelings for him were genuine and I could see it tearing into her and cracks were beginning to show which struck a very familiar cord.

Watching a close friend begin to descend into a place that I had watched someone else I cared deeply for was heart wrenching, speaking to “Mia” I offered my advice “you need to nip this in the bud sooner rather than later because it will only get worse trust me on this” I could see her mannerisms changing and she began to make small excuses and justify certain things she had told me that bothered her.

These admissions worried me it seemed she was thinking on pure emotion which would lead down a dark road taking her back to a place she had fought so hard to free herself from in a distant past before I knew her, I was not prepared to let a friend slip back into such a place.

Offering only my words and an ear to listen if needed I said to her “be careful because you are going down the same road as April did and latching onto the first person who you have feelings for  and you’re sacrificing yourself for only fleeting glimpses of happiness when you’re both together for endless hassle and questions when you’re apart” It might not have been my place to say such things but while love may indeed be blind it is not deaf perhaps a voice of concern and reason might help by giving her the strength to stand firm and make him accept he is a part of her life not her entire life.

After sitting and chatting for a few hours she had stayed strong with her decisions and wasn’t chasing him, as small a step as this might be it was a start.

Many people I see are ruled by their phones, constantly checking them every five seconds for a reply and when they see nothing madness descends causing distress, panic and anxiety because they think the fault is theirs. This is no way to live, life is about living in the here and now making choices, having fun, creating memories to look back on with a smile not a regret. After getting home I keep a small conversation going with “Mia” only to let her know that she is not alone, of all the people I know how she feels… torn.

Receiving several messages I read them and offer unbiased replies, they seemed like messages from a child who has not got his way and it reacting with anger until she crumbles under his pressure, perhaps it was because he cared or maybe because he was not used to people saying No.

“A second chance is a rare gift to give but it is ours to give and if you believe it is worth it then take the risk, we can forgive but never forget”


More than a Person

“Think of everyone you have, not just who you’ve lost”

As I sit and watch a fellow man descend into a place I have myself been in I see one key difference between us, when he stood and looked into the endless abyss… he blinked.

I am not the only person in the world who has suffered the pain of love and one of the few who has been able to pull myself back from despair, One of the world’s simple gifts that people take for granted is the gift of friendship I had spoken to some of my close friends and this allowed me to expel the thoughts that circled in my head so that I could see logic and reason.

When the weight of life’s problems pins us to the floor it seems impossible to move and there is no way to get back up but if the weight is too great to move alone ask for help, help from friends.

Friends can give us help and support if we but only let them in and open up this will help us to accept our problems and conquer them head on without fear of being alone, we need not fear their judgement because true friends will understand, true friends will always be there no matter the situation.

Ask for help when you need it, the strength of a single individual can be incredible allowing us to achieve feats beyond comprehension along with the ability tackle life problems, sometimes though even someone as strong as this needs help if you use the strength of friends you will find the weight of your problems lifts much faster than if you try to do it alone.

“Respect and cherish your true friends, the ones who stick by you through everything because these people are what make life worth living”