The Halls of the Mind

I find myself drifting through world of nothing, corridors so dark with no path to follow or light to guide.

Am I destined to wander lost and alone, trapped inside my own mind unable to find the answers I seek? The more time I spend wandering the corridors of my mind in search of that ever elusive answer I find doors to open that only give me more questions. 

After being bathed in such warn light from another why is it the shadow that is cast worries me so. It’s always there and accept it I have, so why does it now start to cause stirring thoughts? Why can I not answer my own questions…

Is it the fear of once again losing that which has been given to me, or is it fear of falling once again into a place of such darkness and pain.

Letting go of the echoes of the past and brining silence to the cries of the damned was no easy challenge and now it would seem they inhabit the decadent halls of my mind brining them a slow degradation. 

The lies of the past and the pain carried with them were embedded deeper than I realised, all it took was one simple sentence to be uttered for a cascade of bad memories to come flooding back screaming with now way to silence them, brining the forgotten pain along with them.

A sudden clarity of what I now have and what it would mean if I lost it all again…

Second chances are rare, so why do we feel we don’t deserve them? All we need is embrace them, let them take their course and not compare them to the past. Tangled thoughts infest people’s minds, we spend so much time allowing a single vine to grow in our minds and eventually our hearts, we wait for the worst because of past experience and in doing so maybe we encourage it’s return… I must find the root and cut it fast before it’s too late.

I have have come to the end of the halls and that one last remaining door, I hope my answer lays in wait behind it.

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