The parts we play

Sitting here staring at the fire door in front of me I do wonder how things could have been different, even though such thoughts are useless and only serve to keep me chained where I am.

The anger, the rage, for some they’d consider it understandable and even give it a name, a legitimate medical one. As such support would be offered, people would understand and make allowances for it with not strings attached, the world would get it.

Sadly such a thing was not awarded to me.

It has to be said I do choose the path of the darkest shade, yet no one ever asks why and if they did they wouldn’t listen to what I had to say anyway, however no one is listening here so instead I can write it down and display my silent voice.

This is the way I choose because it’s easier than the alternative of trying to convince people otherwise because once they make up their minds, they rarely want to change them.┬áIn life it is easier to believe what is easier to believe, regardless of what it is because to think any other way would require too much from the common mind.

Yet another way in which we are not equal, men & women that is.

I will forever be the villain, you will forever be the warrior of light.

No amount of truth, perspective or time will ever change this, so….

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Glimpse

Tormented
A whirlwind of thoughts
Crumbling
Again, again, again they come
Corrupted
They won’t stop
Thoughts
Over and over the same repeated, failed, cursed and wilfully chosen

“I still came, even though I’m about to break…”

Sunday & Sultry

Sitting in a coffee shop people watching and pondering the world.

What else do people do on a Sunday?

Funny how we are all much of a muchness, none here are really eye catching, perhaps that is why I enjoy this place, it is somewhere I can blend in to the background, peacefully, without angst, worry or irrational thought.

I can just be.

As the times passes I make eye smile at those who walk past, each of them don’t know where to look, so down is the common choice, out of everyone so far the only one to smile back was a young child in a push chair. It’s quite tragic how we lose our sense of wonder and awe as we age. In the end we’d rather keep to ourselves than reach out and engage with other.

Perhaps that’s why I like this place, not only for blending in to the background but also for being able to throw out a random smile just for the sake of seeing who is comfortable enough in themselves to smile back, which apart from the young and innocent is no one.

Occasionally people do stand out.

Those rare individuals that have colour in their cheeks, passion in their eyes and fire embedded deep in the heart, however those are few and far between.

Most wear monochromatic blues, greys and very often black, because black is sliming, apparently.

What ever happened to standing out?

Ah well, time to get up and move to a different coffee shop because what else do people do on a Sunday.