2AM

Have you ever completely given your entire being to someone else?

Loved them more than you could ever love yourself?

I have.

It almost destroyed me, yet there is no regret, only that slight sadness in reminiscent memories with the knowledge that now such a thing has been tasted nothing else compares.

The feeling, it was truly something to bask in, to let consume you and relinquish your very soul as the fair for such an experience.

If you’re someone like me then you’ll not easily open to others.

While it for the most part may seem like a lonely place to be you are content with it because of the safety it provides. After a time you’re often presented with a choice to let someone in and you hesitate. Do you know why? I do.

You hesitate because while it may be everything on paper, there is just something missing. Not the essence gained from time, it’s something different, impalpable, incorporeal, ethereal even. What ever it is you know it because you give everything you have to it.

Now this isn’t like the good old first love, lust or any other axiom that people will claim and those that do haven’t crossed that threshold yet, simply as once you do there is never any way you can come back from it.

Ever wonder what people mean what they say “Those who know”, well that’s what they mean, in what ever the context of it’s use. You can’t explain to those who don’t know, nor can you converse with those that do, all there is to behold is that sense that ‘they get it’.

This is of course both relieving and simultaneously frustrating.

The next time you wake up at 2AM, if you know, this will all make sense.

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