Why do I make people cry so often?
It always seems to me that I get asked the questions that hold answers they never really want to hear, yet me being me I see no reason in holding back the truth of what is, after all, why lie or tell someone what they want to hear when it will do thing to help them move on.
If there is any lesson that has been learnt in these long years it is the one that tells us that people are not ready for the truth, they’re not ready to change because they just don’t want to.
Last night the reposes I got was one of anger, a protective anger due to the fact that I had cut through their bullshit, yet my reply with the trials and tribulation of my failings was now what they expected. From the response I knew they expected me to make an excuse or try to come across as benevolent, imagine their surprise when I confessed my sins and exposed my flaws without hesitation or regret, silence is truly the sign that the ego protecting them is out of ideas.
The words I spoke were not to hurt or cause distress, they were meant to show a path and insight in how to avoid the mistakes they will keep repeating, yet no one ever wants to learn this, ever.
Why are we so scared, scared of accepting our guilts, our shames, our grief, for falling for the lies, for getting clouded in the illusion of what isn’t real, of letting is all go… Letting it flow down the river and away and accepting that we can’t change the things that were, nor can we change the things that we are not.
All the people who fall in to me, they really do not need the truth I share, the ignorance they live in is far more blissful and I wish I could once again go back their because at least that way i wound’t hurt anyone anymore with what is and what will never be.
I suppose that’s the only problem with taking a glimpse at freedom. It changes your perception and you then realise just how flawed you are and how much to learn you still have. Yet I wouldn’t change it, my eyes are half open, one day I will see it all and at that point the real change will being.