A Fools Errand

It’s funny really.

All this time, if I look back at my life, I can see I’ve been running from everything. All in an attempt to fulfil my own selfish endeavours and it has cost me much, so much so that I don’t really have anything left and I still don’t have what I thought I wanted.

Quite a steep price really for a fool errand.

As each day passes I can feel everything catching up with me and it won’t be long before it comes full circle and I will have no choice but to deal with the repercussions of my actions. I will face all those people I left behind, every person who got hurt along the way of my self indulged journey and finally the one person who would have loved me unconditionally will only see me with pure hatred. All of which will be deserved and all I can do is prepare myself for the inevitable.

I suppose when all is said and done the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and in the process of trying to be something other than what I was always going to be I’ve ended up there anyway, repeating the same mistakes made so long ago and the worst part is I knew I was making every single one of them.

Of all the sins that could govern me, greed was truly a fitting one.

Life’s cruel fate , it’s sick joke that it doesn’t tell you. You don’t have a choice in who you are, not at the core, all you can do is hope to put on a mask each day and pray it doesn’t crack and no one ever gets to see what is underneath it.

 

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