I can tell you how to find what it is you’re looking for.
To find what you seek you need to have faith.
Those who desperately look just end up looking desperate, for anything… any scrap of emotion they can get hold of and whatever they find simply falls apart because they were in too much haste to find something that can only be acquired through time.
Once you find it though, that’s where you must nurture it with honest and more time. If you do, you’ll have what you seek.