How many chances have I let slip past?
You know, those chances of having that ‘normal’ life that everyone dreams of having. The one with 2.4 children, a nice house, a stable job, a loving wife and a loyal dog…. How many chances?
I often wonder that when I look in 30, 40 or even 50 years time, will it have all been worth it? Because sometimes I just don’t know that answer.
There has been so much sacrifice. So much I have let go in the pursuit of more. I remember once I came close to making that choice to take the route so many others have taken. It would have been the sensible thing to do. I have a lot of people telling me how good I had it, how I wouldn’t find something that good again, how I wouldn’t find someone who loved me as much in this life time and yet, I have found several of these people, each loves me more than the last and still it’s not enough to hold my attention and break my selfish cycle of life.
How do people do it?
How do they settle down and accept that fact that they no longer want any more? Perhaps it’s not the fact that they don’t think there is more out there but rather that what they now have ticks all the boxes of comfort to keep them in that place, for a time anyway.
Even now I watch all the families walk past with that look. That look that says “Yep, this is enough. I think.” well, at least that’s what I see but then again I can only see the world from my eyes and my experience and no matter how much I learn or how I try to be objective in my thought I will only ever be able to see the world in my own personal colour spectrum because that’s just how it is.
I wonder. The ‘normal’ life, is it really worth it?