I feel so torn.

To do what is ‘right’ or to do what is instinct.

One moment there is nothing but stillness or calm and the next I am steeped in what one would call sadness, such is the price of wandering thoughts.

It’s been 2 years and there has been a daily thought that I am now struggling to keep out of my mind. I never asked for any of if, but I know that one day it will be coming, I can’t stop it from happening and it terrifies me.

I am the living legacy of his failure, I fear that all of this will be the same as it was for me. Haunted by the inner guilt that I failed at the only thing that really matters in this world, being there.


If I danced among the dead

Would it clear my head? 

Would I find my peace 

Will the torment cease? 

If I danced among the dead 

Would I be proud of the life I’d lead?

If I danced among the dead…