I am quite thehypocrite really.
Even now, after everything that’s happened I still can’t bring myself to not love her. To think, I still feel as strongly now as I did back then, what a pitiful creature I am.
It’s hard to admit that you went through Hell and back for someone who did nothing but lie to you, yet given the same choice I would do it all again for her.
Woman think that men don’t suffer emotional trauma, but this simply isn’t true. They suffer just as much as the next person, they just hide it well.
While it seems true my feelings were unique and I fell for the clever ruse they were still real to me. They are still real now and that is what holds me back, truth be told they will always hold me back because to me I had found that one person who I could truly say I loved more than myself and I would have given my life to protect her. Sadly that was just the dream of a fool caught in the spiders web, it’s doubtful any of it was real for her. I was nothing more than a plaything that could be disposed of when not needed.
Yet being the fool I walked straight in to it.
Oh well. Time to bury it all once more an continue with life.