Did You Watch It?

Does anyone remember the TV show Heroes?

The main character, Peter, he has an interesting journey and by the end of it comes to realise he is the one who is going to become the bomb that destroys everything and all because he loses control.

Half way through the series he realises that he is the problem, yet he still tries to make things right. Eventually though he does indeed explode but just before it all goes wrong he is carried off in to the sky by his brother Nathan, it would seem they both sacrifice themselves, well until you see the second series that is.

What is the point of this post?

I guess I just feel that all of this is getting to me now. I am losing control of my thoughts more and more often, then I struggle to repress all the emotion but eventually I do. It feels like I am a bomb waiting to explode.

Tonights rage was the tip of the iceberg, the worst part is I know that I’ve not even come close to erupting yet. I just want it al to stop, I want it all to go away, I want to go to sleep and never again wake up so I don’t have to keep repeating this cycle of repression so that I don’t do something stupid. I don’t want to live anymore knowing that it’s only a matter of time before it all comes out.

I don’t want to explode, but like Peter I don’t have a choice. It’s not a case of if… It’s a case of when.

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Madness

I am surrounded by incompetence!

To them it is a simple letter they have lost but to me it was a chance at regaining some form of normality in my life.

Why am I surrounded by such idiots!!

Hardly being able to control my anger after hearing the message left on my answer phone I tear through my home destroying everything in site in a fit of blind rage. They all come rushing to subdue me but they are not strong enough and are thrown across the room like rag dolls, all they can do is look on in terror as I rip the door from its hinges and effortlessly smash through the walls, the destruction of anything and everything can’t be stopped, I must break it all.

Crashing through the back door I grab the steel support and pull as hard as I can, it does not budge. I pull harder and harder but the pole is cemented in, I achieve nothing. Eventually using everything I had left I bring the lean-to crashing down,  I had finally worn myself down and the rage lifts. Turning to see the remnants of my outburst all I can see is a frightened pair cowering in amongst the dust and debris.

I have never seen a look of pure fear before. It was a harrowing feeling, but the result of my lost control.

Looking down at my hands they are broken and bloody but I could feel no pain.

I have truly been consumed by it all.

I am truly lost.