Today is the dawn of more tasks from the benevolent jobsworth it would seem. As they sit behind their screen firing off emails without a single clue of what actually goes on in the real world, surely these people were once mere mortals just as you or I, or perhaps they have always been academics.

Over the years I have learnt the difference between those who have gained their knowledge through experience and those who gained it though education. You would think they are the same, but it’s not the case, experience understands and offers solutions where as education only wants what is considered correct, even if it has little to no relevance.

I know why people do things by the books. I understand how they want an easy life and to go unnoticed and avoid being zapped at the hands of their superiors, perhaps this is why I have little to no respect for these people. They are far too concerned with doing what they need to please their peers rather than help the people that really matter, I guess the fear of losing their job is too much for them.

Re-reading what I have written I depress myself, everything is steeped in misery and self pity.

When did I become so weak. When did I become so lazy?

Okay, lazy might be the wrong word but it’s the only one that fit’s my current attitude. I’ve achieved all my dreams so far, while my paths to the top of the mountains I have climbed has been different for everyone else’s the view has been the same and it is an underwhelming view indeed.

What did I expect?

I thrive on the challenge, the chase, the pursuit of my goal, much like a blood hound born and raised for only one purpose. I have my goal in my sights, I achieve it and then I get bored because I make little to no difference to the world. Maybe I need a new goal, but not something that I can see. No… It needs to be something so impossible it frightens me at the sheer thought of it.

I need something that makes me feel alive again.