Around and around we go…
It all falls back on me again. Me being the one who has ‘broken’ someone. Tsk….
I wish I had such power that is attributed to me, but in reality I am just a person like everyone else who is flawed and perhaps lets things happen that they shouldn’t, perhaps that is the price for caring. Maybe that’s the Almighty’s cruel little joke, that we can make everyone we touch elated for a short time and reciprocate the feelings until the candle has burnt out and we are once again left cold and wondering what went wrong.
Where we went wrong.
The faults lay with me. I have tried to let people in but there is still that place they cannot see, there is still so much they have yet to learn about me and why I act the way I do.
I knew a long time ago the eventuality of this outcome, but I never dreamt it would be this soon though I wasn’t prepared for such extra mental strain. Holding that overhead requires my focus, everything else is secondary. My avarice demands it.
I don’t want to hurt people, I hate seeing them cry yet it’s all I make them do.
In the end being alone is the only way I can keep people from getting dragged in to my world of hurt.