If something happens that is out of our control the first thing we all seem to do is run to the aid of the situation and say “I’m sorry I couldn’t….” the ending will vary depending on the situation but the underlying message is the same. We are not upset because of not being able to do anything, but because we feel we’ve failed as a person because things went wrong and by association we will be tarred with the brush of blindness.
People will ask the common “What happened?” and after telling the story thousands of times, each time with a larger sense of anxiety, we fear being judged because we couldn’t do anything. Thoughts begin to spin as we desperately try to read the minds of our inquisitors, all while trying to preserve our self held image that we are a good person and feel terrible for not being able to do a god dam thing.
In an attempt to save our image we adopt the role of the victim, when in fact we are nothing more than a bystander.
Ironic really, we live under the guise of the caring and doting person who always tries to save everyone but lacks any of the power, then when everything falls to pieces we rush to it’s aid in the hope of salvaging our image under the banner of ‘I feel guilty because I let you down.”… What utter bollocks.
We do not fail people when their life falls apart, what happened happened and there is nothing we could have done to have prevented it, it’s that simple. While we might actually care we do nothing about it until it begins to effect our own inner world and our externally perceived image.
We care ironically when it suits us or at least when it makes us look good.