It was at that moment… 
That was the moment I finally started to give up.
Being sat in a restaurant full of people is a real reminder to keep the tears held back, to stay strong for just a little longer and wait until I’m away from anyone before I fall apart.
These are good people, good people who don’t deserve to fall victim and become collateral damage in my self destructive wake.
Everyday I stare at the person I see in reflections and I don’t recognise him. His body degrades, his hair growths thin, he is slowly giving up and accepting that which is pushed on him.
That’s not me… Or at least it never used to be.