What has this place become?
I believe a diary or journal is the best way to describe it. Each day it changes from thoughts and feelings to poems, plays and random musings but aiming to write at least 400 words a day has certainly made it more interesting, however the temptation to overthink and try to create something to please the readers is ever more present.
Why would I try to please the people that read this blog when that was never it’s original intention?
Well the answer to that is a simple one… Acceptance and understanding.
Millions of people write blogs everyday, many far more articulate than this one and with far better content, but they don’t do it for the reasons you might believe. Oh no, they will do it because they want to fill that void of emptiness they house deep down and find people who accept them and lavish them with praise; or perhaps that’s just me.
Something people forget is that we judge based on our own image of ourself, we also criticise based on our own ego and it’s need to be protected. All people every really want is to feel needed, there are no exceptions to this rule and there is no such thing as a truly selfless act because it will always be carried out with the reward in mind.
Not all rewards are physical, some of the biggest ones are mental or emotional.
Cynical as it might sounds it’s the truth, not my truth as some people will jump to proclaim, it’s the honest truth from someone who can admit their need for acceptance and their avarice for all things attention related. I write this not for glorious responses, nor do I write it for pity; I write this because I want to and just like every other human in the world I want what I want and nothing will change that fact.
To admit ones greed is to admit ones flaws and subjugation to their ego, thus accepting them in all their wonderful disarray. When you have seen the truth it all makes so much sense.
Greed is the essence of everything.