Self awareness is not always present in people, it’s one of those skills that takes time to learn and often comes with the wisdom of maturity, but when we are self aware what we see isn’t always what we want to believe.
I am sure that from my writings that one of my largest character traits if the fact that I like to be in control, not only of my own life but also of everything around me. I have a nasty trait that takes great offence when people won’t do what I want, though the reasons I have are not selfish, they are for the benefit of said person.
Controlling others with good intentions might seem like a large contradiction in itself, but it’s the only way I can explain who I feel. For the most part I see where people will go wrong and want so desperately for them to avoid the impending disaster, but I can’t always avert people from their choices. Using influence, persuasion and empathy to my advantage in an attempt to get my desired outcome could be called manipulative, but I would accept that label if it meant I could help someone.
Having a firm grasp on the helm is a safety barrier, it not only allows me to help but also keep myself as safe as possible while taking what I consider a risk. It can be forgotten that to have influence on people and their thoughts you have to allow them in to your own mind, luckily for me very few ever realise the impact they could have on me, nor the intellect to take action.
This is the extent of my self awareness so far, there is more to learn, more to reveal and accept because being able to accept every part of your soul can be a frightening thing indeed. To be honest and to not lie to ones self, these mental realisations take a great deal of strength and the ability to relinquish the ego, the ego that fights to protect our self professed image that we would have people believe is the truth.
To my friends, I will surround you and protect with everything I have to give and do so until I can no longer move, but to those who do not sit on this side of the wall, you should heed my words:
I slither across the floor
My tongue forks and searches for my prey
With skin and blood cold to the touch
Eyes darker than night
Be aware or I will strike
For I am a snake.