Have you ever just held something precious, innocent and full of meaning in your hand but wanted to left it fall to the floor and shatter?
Perhaps it’s just me, but I have thought along these lines on more than one occasion. It always crosses my mind how easy it would be just to let if slip through my grasp and watch as it falls slowly downward towards the floor, no feeling of guilt for the the choice made, but rather a false curiosity of what will happen, even knowing there can only really be one real outcome.
I picture how the descent would look, how the precious would tumble end over end spiralling out of control, watching piece of it tear off and break away in free fall, how each second would feel as if it’s being dragged out by the gods of time so that it felt as if eternity was passing as I watched it fall.
Shortly after the precious item connects to the floor I can see the ripples of impact, waving out across the small area of it’s landing, all before recoiling back in on themselves. There is no sound, just the beginnings of an implosion as something so precious starts to collapse from the inside out after the devastating fall. Then, a soft chink is heard followed by a thunderous crack, suddenly and in what feels like less than a second it smashes across the floor, irreparable damage is caused and it can never become whole again.
Looking down at what was once so precious, I begin to feel sad, even though I was the cause of it’s destruction. Remorse sets in and I start to think ‘why did I do that?’ but it’s already too late, the deed is done, the choice is made and nothing can reverse it.
I find life to be a lot like this. How many times has we held something precious in the palm of our hand and simply let it slip and fall to the ground; allowing it smash and scatter in to a thousand pieces. Then only after our illogical curiosity has been satisfied do we realise there was no other possible outcome, after all, how could there have been anything other than that outcome.
Many will believe that who we are is defined by the choices we make, yet they all seem to forget we know exactly what the result of our choices will be and that at that moment in time we simply just didn’t care enough to avoid the inevitable outcome of that choice, or perhaps we cared more about something else and were prepared to suffer the consequence. Either way, the guilt is still there for letting something so rare fall as if were nothing more than mere scraps.