The clouds have turned from white to grey, as if sullied by something. The storms and rain are not far away, soon we shall seek shelter from their wrath, but for now we must continue to traverse the planes until the time comes.

I can see people falling behind struggling to keep up with the pace of the group. My concerns fall on deaf ears, the elders must be relinquished, that is the will of the group.

Looking back I can see them slowly grinding to a halt… they know that they won’t survive once the storm hits, but they accept it willingly, gracefully and without question because that’s how it’s always been.

‘Dare I oppose these traditions?’

That is what I say to myself as I am surrounded by the mindless herd. The courage required to speak out is greater than I could ever imagine, but if something doesn’t change eventually someone I care about will be lost.

The traditions of the tribe have been held in such high regard long before I was ever born, but I know I need to make this change. I know I need to face the council and stare down the leaders… I know I must, even at the risk of banishment.
“Why does it have to be this way?”

I can see the eyes of the council members burning with rage, but still I persist.

“Can the strong not carry the weak to a safe haven, even if only to give them a chance to survive?”

“How can we just leave them?”

“What form of monsters are we to let our own kinsmen die like they meant nothing!”

A bellowing roar echoes from the strongest of us all;


“You dare oppose what has allowed us to survive for hundreds of years?”

“You ungrateful whelp.”

As I look on I can feel the eyes of each tribe member glaring at me. Each one more with a disappointing thought.

“What a fool.”

“He will be left behind too for his treason.”

“It’s the end for him now.”

Watching the Benevolent draw his sword meant only one thing, for all those who bore its wrath we guaranteed only one fate…

It seems now is the time to choose…
Die and be free of pain…
Fight on and suffer tides of change…
Live, fight and die for what is right!

Pierced Heart… I Lost.

Burn Before Reading

For the first time in a long time it crossed my path again. I had forgotten that I had made a copy just incase I needed one as contingency, holding it in my hand I feel nothing…

No spike anticipation
No increased pulse
No flurry of emotion

The sheer thought of reading it just one more before I burn it has crossed my mind frequently over the passing days since its return to me. To read the lies once again, to relive that fateful event to its fullest, to feel suffering again.

Why is it we feel the most when we’re suffering?

The fear of the unknown, the fear of death essentially.

This sends the electrical impulses through the brain, it stimulates are senses, it heightens our awareness of all surroundings, it becomes intoxicating, it becomes pure poison.

The truth though… I will not read it again. I will wait until the dark of night and go to a place that only I know. The place where it all began and the pace that it will all end.

How many years has it been now since that ill fateful day?

I have lost track, but I know there is one who hasn’t. I know the pains they will face upon reading anything I have written because for the most part, this was started all because of her. I wish I could cast her memory in to the pits of hell and be rid of, but that isn’t possible. While the memory will fade it will always be there, lingering in the shadows and while I can’t truly hate that memory I can choose to ignore it and build new memories upon it.

Try as I might to keep those I care for from harms way the more distant I become, because I know none of them want to here what I really want to say. The real words that sit in my heart would be met with hostility, anger, sadness and pain, emotion that those closest do not deserve to experience. Instead I shall keep these words under lock and key, removed from this existence because there is no need for me to say them.

Reading back through the endless scribe I cringe at how pathetic I sounded…

I cringe at how I became a pawn in her game
I cringe at how I was so wrong
I cringe at it all.

The flames will purge and purify my soul… Finally I will be free.