Human Too

Once, just once, someone would look me in the eye and tell me it’s going to be ok. 

I seem to do all the fighting for anyone and everyone because that’s what we’re meant to do. We’re meant to help each other, but why does no one ever help me? 

People seem to forget I’m only human too.

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Standing Up Again

After the knock down I faced yesterday I decided to let it all go and succumb for the briefest of moments.

It felt good.

Now I’ve shaken off the remains of the hurt and started walking down my long road again.

Why do we do carry on and get up after every fall?

The answer is simple; because we have no other choice.

Crying Without Tears

Sometimes sitting alone is the worst thing you can do.

Being left alone with your thoughts can be a dangerous thing, especially with a mind as broken as my own. 

Today I suffered not only a disappointment, but worst of all a grave injustice and deprivation to my character.

False truths and sullied stories with no proof or evidence, spiteful hearsay and hurtful slander spouted from times long ago.

Of all the stories that could have been told, this one hurts the most.

I didn’t ask for the memories to be dragged up, nor did I want them to be. Considering the version I’ve just heard makes me sound like an obsessed madman fuelled by jealousy and lust, I can honestly say I want to sit in a corner separated from all that is real and just cry.

Apparently it came from a letter that was sent to certain people. Incredibly descriptive in it’s nature, it served to be a noose that will now forever haunt me.

How could such things have been said when they were simply not true?

Did I get it all so wrong?

Was I that naive… That foolish… That in love that I couldn’t see what was really going on?

I believed all the lies and cries for help. 

I tried again and again to help but never made the slightest bit of difference, sadly now I know why. 

People are vindictive, cruel and ruled by their ego. 

Being selfless has no place in this world. It will only lead to a place of solitude and ridicule.

I’ve not felt a hurt this immense before. To feel truly worthless is something I wouldn’t wish upon my greatest enemy, so why would they wish it on me…

Funny thing is I can’t even cry. There are no tears, only pain and sadness.

Worst of all this very post will cause only more hurt.

Perhaps I am destined to walk the path alone. Crying without tears.

Perhaps ‘they’ were right all along.

What a fool I am. 

The Morning

The air is fresh and the sun is warm on my face.

Not another soul can be seen, felt or heard for miles.

AS the world sleeps I am awake and alone with nature, there is a sequential beauty that so many will never see.

Everything is at peace for the briefest of moments.

ASorrow Feeling

If you were to ask me why I felt sad, I couldn’t tell you, because I don’t know the answer. 

It’s strange…

I have nothing to grieve over, no worries or problems, but still there is a deep sense of sorrow filling my heart.

Where is it coming from or perhaps not where, but who.

Sad, alone, scared, running away.

Trying to think of all the possibilities, all the people. Eventually I will find the source of this feeling. Eventually I will have the chance to make it stop. 

PromiseĀ 

I will hold you close when you are sad,

I will make you smile when you are mad,

I will help you every step of the way,

All I ask is that you stay.

Stay not out of duty, owing or chore,

Stay because you want too; until forever and more,

Stay because you choose to be,

Stay and it will be just you and me.

I promise.