My Flaws

My flaws are a lot like yours.

I judge too quickly.
I hate too often.
I hold needless grudges.
I become jealous of others success.
I make excuses for my flaws.

I could keep writing this list until my dying day, but we are not defined by our flaws, we are defined by how we act.

If you let your flaws contour your emotions you will always be bitter.

I was bitter for so long. I would say I am still bitter to some degree, but I’m working on that particular flaw.

Smile everyday.
Open doors for people.
Say hello to strangers.
Be kind for no reason.
Give without the thought of reward.
Be humble.

You will find your life becomes much nicer when you do the small and simple things.

What bout this on you ask. I saw my true reflection, much like Dorian Grey did and I didn’t recognise the person starting back at me.

When you look in the mirror who do you see?

A Short Story of Love

As the light fades, he slowly starts to disappear.

Running to him she is met with only a formless shadow.

Tears run down her face.

“I love you… I always have.” She weeps.

“I know.” He says. His last words as he fades away with the light.

Then, just like that, she was alone once more. 

Their time was brief, but his memory will be eternally etched in to her heart forever.

That was, and always is love.

Distant

I was told I look sad. That when what is written is read it’s like they don’t even know me.

Perhaps it’s true, but at least writing it in to the endless mass of cyber space keeps it from bothering the people in the real world.

I have always been a distant person, only choosing to let in those I trust but experience has taught me that even those people still let you down when it comes down to the breaking point.

Morbid?
Depressing?
Pessimistic?

Or

Real life?

People are free to make their own choices to how they see the world.

This sadly is mine.

Modern Nature

The sun is bright
The air is cold
Flowers blossom underfoot
The wind gentle yet unable to hold

As the clouds part
As the skies turn blue
Animals forage
As nature is fair but cruel too

Soon the day will end
Soon all turns to stone
Modern man approaches
Soon this will be a memory lost and alone

Let Down Again

I as sit quietly in this car with nothing but my thoughts it dawns on me. I believe I have once again been let down.

After much deliberation I decided to arrange an event for friends, colleagues and those people who I’ve never met.

It was nothing serious, but backed by popular demand.

I’m the only one here. 

It’s funny really. I will help where I can, as did my kinsman before me, but still I repeated their mistakes. I put too much faith in people, I give them too much credit that they will honour their words and once again I’ve played the role of the fool. 

Why is it I learn from all my lessons in life except this one?

I try to be humble, helpful and just. I just guess there is no place in the world for such things anymore, or at least not in the part of the world I reside.

We can but smile in the shadows of our own fading light. Smile and move on.

Human Too

Once, just once, someone would look me in the eye and tell me it’s going to be ok. 

I seem to do all the fighting for anyone and everyone because that’s what we’re meant to do. We’re meant to help each other, but why does no one ever help me? 

People seem to forget I’m only human too.

Standing Up Again

After the knock down I faced yesterday I decided to let it all go and succumb for the briefest of moments.

It felt good.

Now I’ve shaken off the remains of the hurt and started walking down my long road again.

Why do we do carry on and get up after every fall?

The answer is simple; because we have no other choice.

Crying Without Tears

Sometimes sitting alone is the worst thing you can do.

Being left alone with your thoughts can be a dangerous thing, especially with a mind as broken as my own. 

Today I suffered not only a disappointment, but worst of all a grave injustice and deprivation to my character.

False truths and sullied stories with no proof or evidence, spiteful hearsay and hurtful slander spouted from times long ago.

Of all the stories that could have been told, this one hurts the most.

I didn’t ask for the memories to be dragged up, nor did I want them to be. Considering the version I’ve just heard makes me sound like an obsessed madman fuelled by jealousy and lust, I can honestly say I want to sit in a corner separated from all that is real and just cry.

Apparently it came from a letter that was sent to certain people. Incredibly descriptive in it’s nature, it served to be a noose that will now forever haunt me.

How could such things have been said when they were simply not true?

Did I get it all so wrong?

Was I that naive… That foolish… That in love that I couldn’t see what was really going on?

I believed all the lies and cries for help. 

I tried again and again to help but never made the slightest bit of difference, sadly now I know why. 

People are vindictive, cruel and ruled by their ego. 

Being selfless has no place in this world. It will only lead to a place of solitude and ridicule.

I’ve not felt a hurt this immense before. To feel truly worthless is something I wouldn’t wish upon my greatest enemy, so why would they wish it on me…

Funny thing is I can’t even cry. There are no tears, only pain and sadness.

Worst of all this very post will cause only more hurt.

Perhaps I am destined to walk the path alone. Crying without tears.

Perhaps ‘they’ were right all along.

What a fool I am.