Some hearts are warm,
Some hearts are cold,
Some hearts are torn,
Some hearts are old.
Some hearts cry out to be held,
Some hearts cry out to be made strong,
Some hearts cry out to a companion so they can meld,
Some hearts cry out, they were wrong.
Some hearts live,
Some hearts die,
Some hearts give,
Some hearts lie.
My heart was broken,
My heart was yours,
My heart was a token,
My heart was mine no more.
We are all just rebounding through time.
Standing in front on this harrowing mirror I gaze upon the reflection. I have no question of who I am or who I was. Uttering no such words as “I miss who I was, who I used to be.” because that was indeed who I was, it’s now who I am now.
So many try to reclaim the lives they once led, the person they once were. In reality though we can never be that person again because we’ve grown through experience and we’ve learnt through pain.
To not be ashamed of who you are is somewhat self indulgent, but, it doesn’t matter because the only person who needs to live with that version of you is you.
So long I’ve rebounded through time starting a so called ‘new life’ that was simply seeking a means to and end. I never really understood that sentence or it’s meaning until now.
If you sit and think about how your life has been it will be a sequence of patterns that repeat? Patterns that mimic a time your were happy, a time you thought would never end? Let me say this: you can’t recreate the past no matter how hard you try, it’s gone, that’s why it’s called the past. Don’t strive to relive what was, instead live what could be.
This is my promise to myself: this time around it will be different.
What were we? Friends. Lovers. Perhaps merely the person who was there at the time?
It matters not, we provided what we thought we wanted at the time. I leave thoughts and feelings behind without remorse or bitterness. I learnt a valuable lesson. I wasn’t ready to let go of the pain I had held onto for so long, it was all I knew, it was all I had; or at least that is what I thought.
Broken trust and selfish acts poison what can be. I felt hurt by such simple things, I desperately tried to understand that which I could not answer. Then I understood.
The trust that was broken, was mine. I no longer trusted myself and as a result I no longer trusted anyone.
Now I can see the anger behind your eyes, I hear the tone in your voice and when I do, I can hear everyone else’s voice echoing in the distance. In this silent orchestra I heard something else too.
I heard a lost soul that does not feel like it belongs.
It is time to move forwards. It is time to accept the past. It is time to embrace the future.
It is time to grow up.