Why do I once again find myself feeling crushed by emotion, this is becoming tiresome. It is not just one emotion it is a multitude of them, sorrow, anger, hate, all of the negative emotions; maybe its because I’ve been surrounded by people all week and had no time to think, or is it for another reason.
My incessant fluctuations are beginning to wear me down, It feels like I’m standing at the back of a room screaming at the top of my voice and no one can her me. I fell stupid because my mental state is inconsequential compared to the vast amount of problems in the world, I’m being pathetic.
What frustrates me most is the fact that I don’t understand this constant maelstrom of feelings.
I sit and worry about those closest to me, My Brother, My Sister, My Mother. They each hold problems in their hearts and that ever increasing look of depression behind their eyes, and there is nothing I can do to help except listen. All I can offer is a brief respite for them, a short moment of release so that they can not worry, then, there is the one who tries to understand but can’t and as a result becomes closed and distant. I can feel the seams coming apart, it feels like it’s only a matter of time before they separate completely.
All of us want to feel needed, because if there is no use for a person what is the point of that person?