“If you up at the sky, beyond the clouds where the stars shine bright, you will find your second chance.”
The Easter weekend has been filled with new memories, memories that eclipsed those that were held in my heart. Memories not of grandeur, expense or magnificent gestures but memories of those simple joys that life can offer us such as friendship, nature’s beauty and above all else the small & simple things, which in the end, become the big things that really matter.
It has been a long time since I smiled so much in one weekend, I had forgotten all that had caused such searing pain and finally allowed myself to look forwards properly for the first time.
The day lasts well into the evening where we are joined by welcome company.
“Mia” cannot help but say she is happy for me and how things have turned out, some words of advice were also uttered “don’t mess this up!” Both laughing I look her in the eye and tell her “not this time”.
As the night draws to a close “Mia” parts company with us, upon arriving at our destination I sit and find myself lost in “Sophia’s” eyes, filled with a look I’ve not seen in them before… we talk and I confess something that I hadn’t with any other until now “do you want to know something? As much as it means I can get hurt again by telling you, you’re in now. Now you have the choice to either take my heart of break it.” She me back at me with a smile and we talk further, I can feel myself being gripped by fear of the simple and honest words I say because these leave me open and exposed.
“A hard thing to say, I know you’re enough for me…” to her I say, I have had times in the past were I have had the opportune moment to vocalise my feelings, to give them substance and meaning with words and yet I always held back in past.
Now was the time for change, why waste a moment and leave words unspoken? You cannot leg go of fear, merely embrace it and channel it for a purpose rather than letting your mind be ruled by it.
I felt that rush of emotion that had long been drowned to.the sea of darkness which I had been sailing. To describe the feeling would be as if trying to discern Devine intervention from luck. Words fail me.
Knowing that you have the opportunity to be happy is akin to skipping a heart beat, you know it’s there but will you act on it? Will you throw caution to the wind regardless of consequence or will you not?
I chose to take the risk, to say how I was feeling, nothing held back. Why? because the time for a fork in the direction of my life and instead of wandering down a random path I chose one that I wanted.
Let all those who try to deter me from the path I’ve chosen try, they will fail, they will find my resolve slot tougher than they know.
Everyone deserves a chance to be happy, I had been lucky enough to be given a second.
This time I will be the best I can be, I alone are responsible .
“A second shooting star had come into my life.”