Reforging Flames

After many years of wandering through the wastelands and decaying world the fallen champion find a suspicious looking dark castle, as he approaches the screams of the tortured can be heard through the wailing winds, still undeterred he continues to approach.

Standing at the castle gates he stares up at their malevolent grandeur, a haunting aura surrounds this place, drenched in pain and suffering with the reeking stench of fear exuding from those inside its walls.

The gates open and all that can be seen is a black hole of despair waiting to swallow those weak enough to blink in its presence, without hesitation and nothing more than the sword stained with his own blood clutched in his hand he entered.

The gates slam behind him, he does not look back, to look back would provide nothing but more darkness. Walking through the dark and dank courtyard various eyes watch him while cowering in the shadows.

Death is circling this castle and all who inhabit it, he thinks. He continues through unfettered by these afflictions for they were blessings compared to what he had suffered. Entering the dark castle chambers he sees nothing but more shadows and dust. 

“Tell me stranger, what possessed you to step into the unknown and grace us with your presence?” A voice from the shadows asked. 

“Knowledge” he replied.

“A wise man will seek knowledge to help those who need it and heed the warnings of others because of dangerous potential of knowledge, a fool will seek knowledge for personal gain a.d ignore the cautions that others of which speak. Which are you?” A second shadowed voice says.

“Neither, I seek knowledge to free me of my past. I seek knowledge so that I can share the secrets so that they are not lost in time and kept by those selfish enough to hoard them.” The fallen one said with conviction.

“A fall from grace you have suffered, the pain we see lies deep. You are worthy to be reborn. There will be pain beyond pain that is  price for this gift we offer you.” Said from the shadows behind him.

“Then I will scream loudly.” He answers. 

Dropping the blade he held so tight throughout his journey and opening his arms to embrace the shadows he is surrounded, engulfed by them. These were mere babies of darkness compared to the feelings he had left in the sleeping forest.

The shadows surrounding him dissipated and he stood in a dark armour forged by these entities and brandished a blade that was the embodiment of his past. The price of this was simple, to relinquish his paladin heart and accept the heart of chaos…. 

“Do you accept?” They asked.

“Yes” pierced through the heart with the blade he dropped, the blade that bore his blood, blinding pain radiated from within. His screams are a chilling sound even to those tortured souls who had resided in the castle for centuries.

The pain resides and the deep is done. He was no longer a fallen champion but a Knight of Chaos.

Leaving the castle the once noble champion walks into the night but not as he was before, now he was more than he once was. He would bring suffering to all who caused it and bring balance once again to his life, the start of a new journey had begun.

 

Advertisements

Distant Wings

To have wings and fly,

To leave behind that which we know,

To soar up high into the sky,

To be set free and choose where we go,

Those wings… I want them.

Forgotten faces from the past,

Forgotten troubles that held us here,

Forgotten memories never meant to last,

Forgotten pains and forgotten fear.

No longer bound by these afflictions,

We break free of our convictions.

Those distant wings we once sought are no longer dreams held in our thoughts,

Those distant wings have set us free, 

It’s time too fly,

Do you trust me?  

 

Unexpected Apology

 

“In this world there does still exist good men after all”

Walking into work to see “Katie” who asked me for a friendly ear to listen to her problems I stand and listen, from what I heard it would seem that her relationship has run its course with her partner, as sad as this was she was calm and only needed to speak the words herself. Once she spoke these words it became real, I told her not to see it as the end but merely the start of a new beginning, parting with a smile I am approached by a face that once housed so much malice for me, “Kain”.

“Can I have a word with you” he asks, “certainly” I reply. We walk to a quiet corner and “kain” held out his hand to shake mine… what he said next stunned me, “I want to apologise for threatening you” taken back by his words I answered “It’s ok, I would have done the same if I was in your position” we converse more and it seemed that I had finally been vindicated from the villainous pedestal I was on.

Talking about our concern from “April” it seemed he finally realised why I acted as I did, the feeling was liberating. To see the look behind his eyes and a potential understanding of how much I once cared for “April” almost brought me to tears, out of everything that had happened all I ever wanted was for her to be happy and safe; at last it seemed that she was free of what web she was ensnared in.

This thought brought warmth to the place in which my heart used to reside, maybe now she could finally regain herself and recover what she had lost.

We part once again shaking hands, walking to the office I can feel my legs weaken. Sitting on the desk I replay the conversation again and again finding myself breathless with my head spinning, it felt like the dark storm that was following me had finally lifted and once again I could see the path back to the light.

Some of “Kain’s” words in particular lingered in my head “well in six months you two might have a small conversation and then you never know” try as I might to forget these words and the feeling they brought with them nothing seemed to work.

The feeling they brought was one I no longer wanted a feeling that would only hold me prisoner once again and re-forge the shackles I had fought so hard to shatter, I would not let myself fall again because I would not have the strength to survive the pain I have endured a second time.

“Maybe two souls destined to be together have to endure eternities of trial and strife before they have their chance at true happiness just missing that shooting star that streams across the sky that can grant their wish, maybe the next time we walk this world again we will have our chance to be truly happy and never feel lost again but until that day we must continue to walk alone stopping to look up at the stars and wait until the time is right once again.”

In the Darkness I listen

 

Long sleepless night of drinking and dancing with friends both old and new begins to take its toll, each time I go out I find less and less enjoyment in drinking vast amounts of alcohol and find that it is was the company that quelled the rampant thoughts that I was cursed with. After finding the place between rage and serenity that allowed me to remove any thoughts from my mind and forget showed me the clarity to appreciate the help and support I have been given by friends.

The night draws to a close and I have been approached by various friends asking for nothing more than someone just to listen to their tales of love and affection for one who does not reciprocate. The looks I see behind their eyes vary from a looks of longing for a passion the seek to rekindle or a petrified glare that stops them letting go of a past and moving towards what could be their future, others still carry the love in their hearts despite the one sided nature of their situation.

I offer a friendly ear and take it all in, leaving the venue I send out messages “If you need to talk I am here, but when you ask for my opinion I will say what you don’t want to hear” A truth from a 4th persons view, all the observations and knowledge from experiences I have suffered, even if it only helps one person avoid an unnecessary entanglement and pain akin to a thousand knifes pricing through their heart it would be worth it.

Walking home in the darkness with my thoughts as my company I listen and allow them to be forgotten, carried away with the wind, each step I feel lighter and lighter until I reach my home. A sudden verse comes to mind, I know not where from but I feel the need to write it for all to see.

“You love the right person at the wrong time, the wrong person at the right time and fail to see the one who has loved you from the day you met. Such is Life.”

Vacant Face

A vacant face with a memory of the past,

Who was she my dear friend asked?

I know not who and care not why,

She’s a distant memory that came from the lie.

The vacant face is similar but not the same,

What piece is missing my dear friend said?

Beautiful eyes that healed pain but sadly now they no longer remain,

This face vacant and all but dead,

No emotions expression or feelings too see,

In the vacant face that stared back at me.

 

 

why?

They question you so to protect their pride,

You wonder why they need to know,

The answers you hide because you have lied,

To lay yourself bare with your feelings on show,

One question they ask for an answer they know.

The answer you give is your choice to make,

So what will it be,

Real or fake?

 

 

The Perfect Place

“We find true understanding in that place between unfathomable rage and blissful serenity.”

I found myself awake at that precise time just as before, 2am. Only this time there was something different, the absence of any rage or serenity, instead a peace of mind.

Again led in the dark with only my thoughts everything seemed as it was but for this, my thoughts were no longer incoherent, random or without purpose no longer flourishing in uncontrollable waves leaving me subject to their will causing my emotions to spike or dip depending on the memory. 

Suddenly I had found that place so rare, I had regained control over my mind.

I now could choose my memories, painful or joyous the choice was mine. This now gave me a choice, I could keep cherished memories of the past I’m the forefront with lingering echoes of pain or begin to forget them entirely…..

To forget a memory can be a curse or a blessing, forgetting the memories of the past will free us from the chains and shackles that stop us having a future. 

There must be total omission of all memories and  any feelings attached to those memories, pain, sadness, torment and love, all must be forgotten.

“To forget and wipe the minds slate clean is the choice I make.”