Unexpected Apology

 

“In this world there does still exist good men after all”

Walking into work to see “Katie” who asked me for a friendly ear to listen to her problems I stand and listen, from what I heard it would seem that her relationship has run its course with her partner, as sad as this was she was calm and only needed to speak the words herself. Once she spoke these words it became real, I told her not to see it as the end but merely the start of a new beginning, parting with a smile I am approached by a face that once housed so much malice for me, “Kain”.

“Can I have a word with you” he asks, “certainly” I reply. We walk to a quiet corner and “kain” held out his hand to shake mine… what he said next stunned me, “I want to apologise for threatening you” taken back by his words I answered “It’s ok, I would have done the same if I was in your position” we converse more and it seemed that I had finally been vindicated from the villainous pedestal I was on.

Talking about our concern from “April” it seemed he finally realised why I acted as I did, the feeling was liberating. To see the look behind his eyes and a potential understanding of how much I once cared for “April” almost brought me to tears, out of everything that had happened all I ever wanted was for her to be happy and safe; at last it seemed that she was free of what web she was ensnared in.

This thought brought warmth to the place in which my heart used to reside, maybe now she could finally regain herself and recover what she had lost.

We part once again shaking hands, walking to the office I can feel my legs weaken. Sitting on the desk I replay the conversation again and again finding myself breathless with my head spinning, it felt like the dark storm that was following me had finally lifted and once again I could see the path back to the light.

Some of “Kain’s” words in particular lingered in my head “well in six months you two might have a small conversation and then you never know” try as I might to forget these words and the feeling they brought with them nothing seemed to work.

The feeling they brought was one I no longer wanted a feeling that would only hold me prisoner once again and re-forge the shackles I had fought so hard to shatter, I would not let myself fall again because I would not have the strength to survive the pain I have endured a second time.

“Maybe two souls destined to be together have to endure eternities of trial and strife before they have their chance at true happiness just missing that shooting star that streams across the sky that can grant their wish, maybe the next time we walk this world again we will have our chance to be truly happy and never feel lost again but until that day we must continue to walk alone stopping to look up at the stars and wait until the time is right once again.”

In the Darkness I listen

 

Long sleepless night of drinking and dancing with friends both old and new begins to take its toll, each time I go out I find less and less enjoyment in drinking vast amounts of alcohol and find that it is was the company that quelled the rampant thoughts that I was cursed with. After finding the place between rage and serenity that allowed me to remove any thoughts from my mind and forget showed me the clarity to appreciate the help and support I have been given by friends.

The night draws to a close and I have been approached by various friends asking for nothing more than someone just to listen to their tales of love and affection for one who does not reciprocate. The looks I see behind their eyes vary from a looks of longing for a passion the seek to rekindle or a petrified glare that stops them letting go of a past and moving towards what could be their future, others still carry the love in their hearts despite the one sided nature of their situation.

I offer a friendly ear and take it all in, leaving the venue I send out messages “If you need to talk I am here, but when you ask for my opinion I will say what you don’t want to hear” A truth from a 4th persons view, all the observations and knowledge from experiences I have suffered, even if it only helps one person avoid an unnecessary entanglement and pain akin to a thousand knifes pricing through their heart it would be worth it.

Walking home in the darkness with my thoughts as my company I listen and allow them to be forgotten, carried away with the wind, each step I feel lighter and lighter until I reach my home. A sudden verse comes to mind, I know not where from but I feel the need to write it for all to see.

“You love the right person at the wrong time, the wrong person at the right time and fail to see the one who has loved you from the day you met. Such is Life.”