Unrequited Silence

“Out of sight out of mind, such a fitting saying until you see that person again”

Just like that without any warning it hit me, I walked back into work with only thoughts of general importance and I catch a glimpse in my peripheral vision that draws me to double take and I see a face almost unrecognisable from what I once knew.

My chest tightens and my heart begins to race, a burning desire ignites with passion and curiosity to simply smile and say hello. I do nothing, I make no eye contact and keep walking.

Speaking to associates I find an almost uncontrolled urge to glance across the room, I do not. I can feel a presence watching me, I still struggle to keep my head turned and place the idea in my head “your probably just seeing it in your own head, carry on as normal and play not the fool any longer” moving to an old acquaintance for a friendly conversation I once again occupy my mind.

Choosing what could only have been the worst place to talk she walks past me get her belongings, she looks sad perhaps anxious and still I make no attempt at contact.

It’s sad to think that there are people in the world who once you would tell everything too, all you secrets, hopes and dreams without a second thought. 

All the time she was there today the only thing I desired was to look her in those eyes, smile and ask “how are you?”…..

It’s truly amazing how all it takes is something as simple as a crossing of paths to cause our hearts to ache once more, causing what had been buried to emerge from the depths again. 

This feeling would pass, each time it was drawn out of its chamber it required less and less time to pacify. 

“Sad really, even after we no longer want to feel for those who caused us so much pain we cannot help but still care, no matter if the feelings were one sided it mattered not. The people who care will remind us that those feelings from the other person were not real, the love was not real… Sad thing is it was real to me” 

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