Erirly Calm

“When all is calm and silence has befallen the tension begins to mount”

After the events of yesterday and “April’s” attempt of self image preservation the storm of emotion tearing through me had dispersed completely leaving only a calm feeling that worried me. Had I let go of the anger and hurt that fuelled my insatiable appetite to expose the lies that she had spread and tear apart the web that was so cleverly woven? This answer eluded me, no matter my level of concentration I could not unlock the answer that was deep in my conscious.

“Mia” being a true friend had contacted “April” fighting my corner and asking her to leave be, reading the message I could see the way they were written with knowing intent that they would be seen by me. Her answers we incomplete and empty, mere acknowledgements of her actions with no remorse for the pain she had caused with omissions to specific questions asked by “Mia” how I pity this girl so lost in her own web, damaged by the troubles and mysteries of her past.

Another puzzling point of contention was the social media message I had received from another who also now doubted her vurtuosity and resolve. Speaking for hours I learnt just how little I meant to her as I was indulged in new information about her actions of self preservation at the sacrifice of written words I had given her that were filled with so much love, for her to have shown this to someone purely to reinforce her story that I was indeed “crazy” only deepened the feeling of emptiness in my heart.

The letter I had destroyed, one of the copies lost now only one copy remained and that was held by “Mia” do I retrieve this copy and give it to the other who seems to have been portrayed as something he was not or choose to destroy it and leave the web damaged and let a life built on lies continue on its path?

The sad fact seems that my story was and always has been one sided, the love that was felt, the sacrifices that had been made and the unquestioning leap of faith were always and had always been by me.

“Sometimes we fight through life fighting for our hearts desires only to be left with scars so deep that they will always cause a reminiscing pain, these scars are good and to be worn proudly because they show what ever tried to cause irreparable damage failed and when you healed you emerge stronger than before.”

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