I hate the way you’ve made me feel
I hate the way you lied
I hate the way you drew me in when you looked deep into my eyes
I hate the way you made me smile and brought happiness to life
I hate the way I opened up for you to pass me by
I hate you made me laugh and think that you were mine
Now all I do is hate all the time
To hold you close and not let go used to be my dream
dreams haunt us all and we ask why
There’s nothing left for me to say except for goodbye
No hopeful words or wandering thoughts
All that’s left is pain
No Love no feelings no more to say
Just what you left to die
I hope your happy with your life so mine can carry on
But I won’t forget that once in time I thought you were the one
“You think you are protected from all that can hurt you from all that can bring you down but all it takes is a few simple to bring the walls crashing down”
Enjoying the comfort of my brother “Dante” helped ease my troubled mind and provided a release from both of our own personal hells, I could still see the broken look behind his eyes just as he could see mine neither of us said a word but we knew.
Finishing our activities we descend into the local coffee shop and we are greeted by a friend of mine “Julia” sharing a smile we all sit together and begin to put the worlds to rights the turn in the conversation that approached me was unseen and nothing could have prepared me for it. As we spoke more about my place of work “Julia” mentioned about the web of lies that had been spun regarding my situation as she knew a large part of the early story, she had been speaking to a close friend of “Kains” and this is what she told me “Matt told me that she has to Kain that there was never anything between you two and she did not know where you got your ideas from and that she never cared for me in the way I described, there was nothing between us to quote her”.
I fell silent upon those words “there was nothing between us” my eyes burned as if hit with white hot fire my heart felt a searing pain that would have crippled me if I had not been sat down, the pain of these words I had heard was greater than any I had experienced so far. It seemed that I had been made out to be the one who just created a world in my own head that was not real, I created the way she felt about me because I was seemingly so twisted I needed to be loved, I had been portrayed as a psycho for the recent months that have past…
How could someone I felt so strongly for be so cruel…. So spiteful…. So Evil.
Fighting back a typhoon of raw emotion I bid “Julia” farewell and sat with “Dante” his face stunned by what he had heard and a look of sorrow filled his face. We continued to talk about various subjects and all the time I was holding back the tears.
As I write this staring out of the window watching the rain I think to myself, People are cruel and seem to enjoy the tormenting others purely for their own personal satisfaction in an attempt to lower their victims self-esteem to a level as low as theirs so they no longer feel alone.
“I loved once, now there is only a continuing hurt that keeps me awake at night”