A Moment of Sadness

“2am is the time it hits you, 2am is your deepest moment of thought 2am is when you think of everything someone meant to you and realise you still miss them”

The acceptance of pain is hard and our bodies fight it every step of the way, we look on the positive side of life’s challenges and all that we learn from them and all that they give us but sometimes but sometimes we are hit by that rush of emotion that reduces even the strongest of us to tears even if only briefly before we regain control.

Staring into the dark embrace of the night with only the whistling of the wind the rustling of the leaves and the silent sobbing that leaks from our hearts we remain silent keeping these feelings buried deep in the hope that one day they pain would reside and we would suffer torment no more.

Do we ever really let go of our memories that we hold so dear? The memories linked in song words, places, smells/scents  and more that cause us to remember a time of bliss and elation for at that time we thought we had everything. Do we let go of those same memories that make us smile but also hold a curse that pierces our hearts without warning or hesitation and brings us back to reality and the acceptance of choices made by ourselves and those who we thought we knew.

Days turn to weeks, weeks to month & months to years and life goes on….. people go on.

Looking into the eyes of our fellow man can give us the chance to see what is in their hearts but those few will have a look that says “I am strong, I can help you, I am always here” these are the same people who notice the small things, these people are the good friends who you can always depend on, there people are the ones who have been forever scared and find happiness in helping others because it gives them comfort to see others smile.

These are the people who lay away at 2am with thoughts that make them remember once they too were happy.

These are people that live in hope to find each other and be understood, to be accepted and not left asking that ominous question that resonates with pain each time it is asked “Why?”.

These are the people who for all their strength eventually succumb to their emotion at only one time 2am… are you one of those people?

10 thoughts on “A Moment of Sadness

    • I guess for all the pain we feel we are not alone in the world, for every twist and turn for every person who leaves and every person who does not understand there will always be one who that does.

      Ours Paths cross and stay joined allowing comfort and respite from our pain allowing us to share the burden with each other, that is until the road forks once again and we part company a little more healed and with a smile for the new beginnings and mystery of a new road to take.

  1. When you feel like you can’t go any further, just know that the strength that has carried you this far will take you the rest of the way.

    Some of the most comforting words in the universe are “me too”, that moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle.. That you are not alone..!

    Because you’re not alone, not ever.

    Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

    • Strength is what stops us from letting go and falling to the darkness in our hearts.

      Comforting words indeed, I will remember them in those times when 2am dawns on me and my thoughts decend into those all to familiar realms.

  2. Your writing is full of genuine raw emotion. So much love, even if you don’t feel it. It comes across like a force field.

    Who ever it is that you miss, I pity them for they must miss you too and have to live every day with what they’ve lost.

    • Thanks you for such kind words.

      I sincerely doubt they feel the same way, I trust actions not words and the way they acted only showed me that any feelings they claimed to have were lies created to keep me just close enough in reach.

      Don’t pity them, they had a choice and as I’m sure you can gather it was to cast me aside once my usefulness expired.

  3. I understand why you would think this and I’m not excusing her behaviour but she has to live with the guilt of her actions from the decisions she has made.

    Because guilt wraps it’s threads around the heart, tugs it to the ground and gives you a sick feeling like you’ve drowned. Lost and stranded You cannot see around you and everything reminds you of the thing you must attend to. Apologising to yourself Iike nothing has happened when you you know you won’t sleep at night until you topple from the wind.

    • It’s sounds like you are on the opposite side of the same coin.

      You say guilt I highly doubt it, I have heard so many things from so many people about how I meant nothing to her and there was never anything between us, so it seems her web of lies is more tangled than even I knew.

      She made her choice and in doing so lost someone who would have given everything he had to her.

      The feeling you speak of is her own self pity from the self created hell you describe that she is in, I care not for the lies of such a person so weak so pathetic harbouring a vacant emotionless look each time I see her.

      It’s a sad sight.

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