A Torn Person


“Forget the consequences and help those in need. Is it your place? Maybe not but why just sit by and watch someone suffer alone when you have a choice to help, the only person who can tell you to stop is the one you are trying to help”

 Watching someone smile can make all of our problems fade away because we begin to share their happiness but what happens when people are in pain? We run.

“Mia” had a happiness that resonated in me and brought pleasant memories back from the depths of my heart. Days passed and her happiness that she initially possessed seemed to fade from the seemingly controlling attitude of “Simon” became more apparent and the worst thing was her feelings for him were genuine and I could see it tearing into her and cracks were beginning to show which struck a very familiar cord.

Watching a close friend begin to descend into a place that I had watched someone else I cared deeply for was heart wrenching, speaking to “Mia” I offered my advice “you need to nip this in the bud sooner rather than later because it will only get worse trust me on this” I could see her mannerisms changing and she began to make small excuses and justify certain things she had told me that bothered her.

These admissions worried me it seemed she was thinking on pure emotion which would lead down a dark road taking her back to a place she had fought so hard to free herself from in a distant past before I knew her, I was not prepared to let a friend slip back into such a place.

Offering only my words and an ear to listen if needed I said to her “be careful because you are going down the same road as April did and latching onto the first person who you have feelings for  and you’re sacrificing yourself for only fleeting glimpses of happiness when you’re both together for endless hassle and questions when you’re apart” It might not have been my place to say such things but while love may indeed be blind it is not deaf perhaps a voice of concern and reason might help by giving her the strength to stand firm and make him accept he is a part of her life not her entire life.

After sitting and chatting for a few hours she had stayed strong with her decisions and wasn’t chasing him, as small a step as this might be it was a start.

Many people I see are ruled by their phones, constantly checking them every five seconds for a reply and when they see nothing madness descends causing distress, panic and anxiety because they think the fault is theirs. This is no way to live, life is about living in the here and now making choices, having fun, creating memories to look back on with a smile not a regret. After getting home I keep a small conversation going with “Mia” only to let her know that she is not alone, of all the people I know how she feels… torn.

Receiving several messages I read them and offer unbiased replies, they seemed like messages from a child who has not got his way and it reacting with anger until she crumbles under his pressure, perhaps it was because he cared or maybe because he was not used to people saying No.

“A second chance is a rare gift to give but it is ours to give and if you believe it is worth it then take the risk, we can forgive but never forget”


Selfless Acts

“Selfless or selfish? What is the reason you help others?”

Always and forever there seems to be an ulterior motive too many people help for the simple thought of getting a reward very few do anything just because they can. Dose a selfless act make us better than our piers, friends or family?

No they make us better than we once were.

Several of my close friends can be described as selfless and humble but after deeper conversations I learned each one only does these seamless acts of kindness because they believe people expect it of them and they are keeping up appearances, this fact saddened me because how we are viewed by others seems to take presidence.

Try no one wants to be disliked but why would you act a specific way only to impress people who you think are your friends? Or people who “talk” and spread the word of your humility? True friends will accept you for all that you are, all that you were and all that you could be. The only person who’s opinion you should care about is your own because when you accept yourself others will too.

“Celes” seems to have a deep fear that no one will accept her for who she is, speaking to her yesterday she said “I have to keep up this act or I will be alone” I can understand that she feels no one else in the world has the same problems she does, the longer she keeps up the act the more alone she will feel such is the norm of our world. 

You must conform to the norm or else you are not worthy.

A weak attitude from a dying culture that is filled with betrayal and two faced people. There are 7 billion people in the world each as unique as the next it’s pretty amazing really, so why not stand alone proud to be you? Proud to be different? You’re not alone because your different or have had a hard life you’re alone because you choose to be… because you choose not to let people in and see you for who you are all because of the fear of rejection, let go of fear, if someone does not like you shrug it off that’s 1 person out of billions life is to short to worry.

“The next time you act selflessly do it because you want to not because it will look good or get you praise.”