healing wounds

“Scars are living proof, memories for all to see but it is only those that are the deepest that hold memories we hold onto”

Delving into the farthest reaches of my mind I did not fathom the true power of knowledge, to know one’s self bestowed upon me visions of clarity and realisation for I knew what it meant to love. I am not the only one who suffers, millions of people from all walks of life are experiencing life just as I do… a life filled with pain for the loss of what I thought to be real, an illusion created by myself because I wanted it to be real.

“Ben” is a friend who I meat through my social circle seemed to be having problems, I don’t know why but I felt compelled to check and just offer words of comfort via a message “hope all is well” not long after this he approached me and asked to talk. 

Meeting with “Ben” I saw a very familiar look, a look sadness as if he was internally fighting to hold back his tears. The world is indeed a place of cruel fates, he was in an almost identical situation to mine with one exception, he was still in the early stages of his story where as I was at the end of mine.

“I know what you’re going through, I’m not going to tell you all the standard carp that a hundred other people will instead I will be honest. You will suffer and even greater amount of pain than you currently feel, the world and everything in it will lose all meaning because nothing will bring her back, all.You can do is accept it in your own way and grieve. Do not run from your pain or try to hide from it and what ever you do you must not bury it because I have done all three an  let me tell you now it drove me to the very edge of madness. I am here if you need to talk”

Looking into his eyes I could see memories blooming and disappearing as he tried to understand what I had told him. When all you can do is think about how much you live someone and would do anything for them it can be hard to accept that you have lost them.

Walking home and passing by the river something made me stop, a dissonance was emanating from the water. Looking down at the river I saw my reflection staring back at me with a released look, talking with “Ben” had showed me I was not alone and if others felt the same crushing pain I had then perhaps somewhere, someone was.going to make me feel complete again.

“A life without loss is a life without risk, risk is what makes the difference between existence and living”