Concern or Guilt?

“Words without action are meaningless, love without respect is worthless & life without purpose is no life at all it is merely existence”

Incessant chatter echoed through the halls and was filled with meaningless concepts, no more worth of my attention than that which had caused all of this strife.

Apon hearing words of concern had been uttered in my direction only enraged me and fuelled my contempt and anger, after being thrown to the wolves to be torn apart by the lies created by someone I cared for so much only to protect her own fragile state of mind, I stood stronger than before, for now nothing would ever cause me such indescribable pain as the betrayal I had felt.

Talking to my friend “Kyle” he emphasized words of caution as he could see the malice building behind my eyes, like a fire storm raging uncontrollably I could feel my control beginning to slip, looking him in the eye I told him to leave me be and I walked away to sequester my rage.

Acceptance of all of my feelings was the only way I would be able to break free ok these shackles of torment. More empty words were told to me by the way of “Kyle”, the opportune moment for redemption had long since passed, like a falling snow flake the moment was unique and never to be the same again. 

My villainous streak had apparently been embedded into people’s minds and entrenched deeper than even I imagined, people would rather believe a preferable lie than the truth…. The concern it seemed was that I would now be trying to spread my own fallacies, infesting a pure calm water with insidious oil corrupting everything in sight. 

It seemed the truth that I had was set to resided with me, buried amongst the festering mound of emotions I was wading through, as I said its easier to disregard  the truth when the lie is more acceptable.

One of my only releases from the accusative look in people’s eyes is solitude, walking by the river the thoughts of what I learnt start to disperse as I look  them from a third person’s view. My conclusion for the concern I was told of that she apparently felt only seemed to me to be a disguise for her guilt.

“Guilt sets into our hearts and slowly erodes the walls created to protect us leaving nothing but the feeling of emptiness, we are a result of our choices and actions, no one else has to live with these decisions so make the right ones and be true to yourself” 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s