Something is Missing

Eternity is relentless, the pain of love is greater than that of any other and yet it also gives us strength beyond imagination.

After seeing “April” unexpectedly that day my heart ached more than ever, my head was telling me to let go because of the choices she has made and how she has acted but my heart just wouldn’t let go. Every time I saw her my love only grew stronger and it was causing me to go mad…. Letting go should not be hard I understood the reasons to let go and why I needed to because in all of this I still want her to be happy, maybe if she saw me with someone else it would sever any ties of emotion she had for me if she was really no longer in love with me.

I go to the last place we have left to communicate to remove the last link we have and I what I saw made my heart ache and my soul feel as if it was burning in white hot fire; She had left a message saying how she missed me desperately , how her legs went weak when she saw me and that she had something for me….

I should have just stuck with me head and removed the last link to her but my heart was not gong to allow that to happen so I replied and we found ourselves talking and told me about the letter she had writing me and now it was even longer “its is my heart, my soul, my everything” this was how she described it and it only caused me more pain. I told her I missed her and wanted to see her and got a reply of pure shock as if she cannot understand why even after all this I would still want to see her; it was sad to think that all the words I had spoken to her, all the truth’s I had told her were not enough to make her realise how much I Love her.  “April” had asked if I wanted her there when I read the letter which made my mind race “why would she want to be there?” She told me she would get it to me one way of another by a certain day as much as I hoped this was true I had a stomach turning feeling that I was going to be let down again.

The endless questions spinning around my head consumed my entire focus like a hurricane tearing through a forest nothing was able to suppress the damage that was being caused, all I could do was face these thoughts on my own.