Love is like ivy it coils around out hearts without warning or regret ensnaring us and keeping us bound by unspoken words, it is unrelenting with its hold and to break away is the hardest choice and sacrifice a person will ever face.
After seeing “April” that night and the feeling of sheer pain I felt emanating from her was excruciating, Try as I might to banish her from my thoughts and leave her with the choice she had made…. the choice she wanted to make I could feel nothing but uncertainty about everything, try as I might with distractions of friends and work nothing was able to hold back the floods of feeling and the questions that came with it.
The urge to run to her was like a comet hurtling towards the earth and the impact would send me to her I could do nothing to stop this feeling the best I could hope for was to deflect it so that it missed impact and streams by in a flash of possibility. Something I had seen was not sitting well in my heart “The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away “The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away” is this how she was feeling? I had never asked her to prove anything to me simply to be honest with herself and not care about what anybody else wants.
The endless circles are starting to wear each of us down, each time I was beginning to move forwards I would be dragged back… After removing the last connection that we communicate through what else is left? We will still see each other because the world is a small place and each time we do will be back here again? If I could look into her eyes she would see that I’m still in love with her though she already knows this it was only me who was truly exposed because she would not talk to me face to face and even in the past when she said “I love you” as if she felt she had to say it…. such a thought is like a knife being slowly slipped in-between the rips and twisted.
The fates are cruel.