True Colours

Hi Guys,

Things are coming to a close.

“April” had been talking to me more and seeing me more at work, I could see the look in her beautiful eyes, she was trying to let go she had told her family almost everything about how she was feeling. As more time passed I felt myself falling even deeper in Love with her which I did not feel was possible, I was fighting hard for her not just against my close friends who told me to give up but against myself I could feel the doors to my heart closing and I was between them keeping them open for her.

I had written “April” a letter and it laid everything on the line, it was my very heart & soul it was there for her to have forever. She had not opened it yet, I wrote on the back “Open when ready”.

More days went past and there was an amassing tension, something was going to give “April” was trying to be strong she had spoken to me, her family and close friends and everyone was trying to support her. I could feel her anxiety building and I could see she was beginning to fracture “Jay” had started to become more possessive and was treating her with no respect constantly checking on her and asking her questions.

 It was the middle of the week and “April” was at my work to train she seemed quite happy and it felt almost like she was coming back to me. “Jay” had been in earlier that day and I see her on her phone which was strange no more than 5 min later he walks in looking for an apparent lost possession which he happened to have on him. He stood over her and then they left I could see she was not comfortable and I was furious.

This was the level of control he had over her and showed just how beaten down she had become, I put a very vocal warning on a social site we both used so he would know that his behaviour was getting to me.

After that incident I message her out of sheer worry saying if she needs to talk or just want a cuddle she can stop by. Hours pass and she messages me and I rush outside to see her, I sit and listen and offer my advice and comfort, I also tell her to go home and tell her family. Things where getting out of hand.

Over the next few days there is so much pressure on her I can feel her beginning  to break, she is try to please everyone… even me. “Jay” starts to become even more aggressive and sends her abusive messages this was hard for me to know  because of how much I care about her. Walking to work one morning I had not heard from “April” I had a gut feeling that she was with him, as I walk to work she drives past me…. I ask direct questions because things are getting very tangled in lies and deceit.

Later that day I get a message from “April” asking if I had said anything to “Jay” I was confused but he apparently had  flown off the handle, I was very worried for her. She had told her family how he reacted and it as clear she needed to end things with him because she was not happy.

I cannot write too much about all the details because I made a promise not too but at least you will get the general idea. What comes next will end everything I could feel it.

The only problem was my gut was telling me I was the one who wasa going to be crushed under the weight of trying to keep the doors open for her.

The Mask’s Fall Away

Hi Guys,

By now you will get the idea of how things have gone from start to where we are now in the story. When I look back I can see so much heart ache and pain caused by me by not dong the simplest of things and just being honest and open with how I felt and telling the woman I love everything.

After “April” and I met a couple of days passed and I could see she had drawn some strength from me and I saw glimpses of the woman I fell in love with. She had taken a large step by telling me and my advice was to speak to “Kain” I knew that he would also provide her with a pillar of strength to help her. We spoke over the next few days and more transpired between “April & Jay” he was becoming more controlling and started to have an aggressive attitude when things didn’t go his way, this worried me so I urged “April” to tell “Kain” but all I could do was be there to support her as she needed to make the steps by herself.

A couple more days passed and I heard from “April” explaining how she had told “Kain” everything about “Jay” and being rational he put across the point of he might just need to be told how he is acting. All the time I was reading the messages from her I knew it was progress yet I still had a sense of fear that if she keeps giving him a chance he will sink his claws further in and it will be harder for her in the long run. I was then taken back for a second when “April” mentioned that “Kain” me of his own accord by saying “I bet you wished you had waited for him now” it seemed that it was still clear that he knew I still cared for her and this instilled a new hope and strength to keep going.

I began to hear from “April” more and more she was slowly starting to recover herself yet I could still feel her anxiety as her shift in energy whenever she say a message from “Jay” on her phone or people who knew him. It was obvious that she was having to tell him exactly what she was up to all the time and that she should be with no one else but him, I can only imagine the fear of not being able to live your own life and be controlled by someone. I suppressed a growing anger towards him for how he was treating her because I knew it would only make things harder for her.

With all of the emotion surrounding us I found myself taking time to just sit and people watch, its amazing what you see when you just take it all in. I would see couples walking together and I could see that they were together out of necessity rather than love, there would always be something missing as happy as most couples seemed to be I always noticed heads being turned and more than just a friendly smile for someone else. How can I sit here and say such things you may ask, I have learnt through all of my experience that people settle for someone who always provides what they never had, compassion, security, support it seems to be just one things very rarely did I see a couple who had a look that said everything, it was often a sense of one-upmanship in the relationships I saw which in my experience never last.

Out of the blue I get a very distressed message from “April” it would seem “Jay” was starting to use emotional blackmail to control her, things where about to turn for the worse I had a dark feeling that a storm was coming.